Revelation

Waking up bitter can screw up any positive day God has planned for you. I didn't know what it was, but I couldn't shake the feeling that if I didn't open my ears and shut my mouth then I would be left in the dust. I was a few minutes late to work, because I turned off my cell promising myself it wouldn't be turned on until tomorrow. See, I sleep so deep it takes my cell phone alarm plus my normal alarm to wake me. If you read my last post it explains a few things, and I just knew that if Mary Beth couldn't contact me then I would 'win.' How I was so, so wrong. I was driving to work, usually takes 20-25 minutes, and I had the sudden urge to take out the Christian Metal, and listen to my Creative Zen, which has Worship music on it.

Every thought in my mind was still going a million miles/hour, until a song came on, and placed me in a different realm, spiritually. Hillsong's 'From The Inside Out' was that song. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was crying out for change, but not to God, until that moment. I broke down, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I couldn't keep my mind on anything but God. I was screaming out to God, shedding more tears then I've ever shed before, and more than likely looking like a mad man to the people driving past me. It's a miracle in itself that I made it to work without ramming someone off the road.

I got Revelation. This morning God promised me that Mary Beth and I are going to grow together. Grow closer to Him, therefore closer to each other. He showed me that if I continue to do things I was doing, I will lose Mary Beth, and more importantly, my faith. God has HUGE plans for Mary Beth and myself, some personally, but most of them are meant for us to conquer together. I refuse to let the enemy control my thoughts, and the way I was being selfish. I refuse to let Mary Beth slip from me because of pride. I refuse to stray from the flock, because the grass 'looks greener on the other side.'

I want, and am willing to let, Christ consume me from the inside-out. Even though I will stumble and fall, Jesus, will always forgive me, because I will always come boldly to His throne. Humanity is different. If I were to continue to stumble and hurt Mary Beth, I bet she would get tired of it. I refuse to let the enemy take my future bride from me. Satan is trying his hardest, because he knows that if we continue to walk the path of salvation together, then we'll be an unstoppable force in God's army.

I love you Mary Beth Guedry, and I'll stop at nothing to show my love for Christ Jesus and you. I'm not afraid anymore of the future, and the past has no control over me. I'll call on the name of Jesus until my time is done here on earth, and I'm done fighting the good fight.