If It Wasn't For You (P.O.D.)

I know this is an older song by P.O.D., but it's one of their best.

LYRICS:

Do I believe in the resurrection of CHRIST?
And did HIS death bring forth new life?
And did HE raise up and bring back Lazarus from the grave?
And is there supposed to be a second coming?
Am I wrong because I’m wondering
why the fallen Babylon is up and alive today.
And do I really believe in the mark of the beast?
Cause he's still dwelling up in my streets,
Strapped and ready to fight this war.
And he's got more guns than you and me.
But most people don't wanna believe,
That they still prejudice simply because we poor.
Do I believe that Mother Teresa was a angel on this earth?
And thou shall love thy neighbor even if he acts like you?
Do I believe in Heaven or Hell?
Shoot, hell yeah I do, cause we alive today,
And my crew is living proof.

If It Wasn't For You
None of this would ever mean a thing
If It Wasn't For You
Tell me why else would I believe?
Would I believe?

Do I believe that the rider of the white horse,
Is coming back for the righteous?
And the morning star keeps gettin brighter every day.
Is there such a thing as good and evil?
Still division amongst the people,
And we're not all created equal just because you say.
Do I believe in the trinity, and will I live eternally?
Even though I'm not quite the saint that you claim to be.
Did Dr. Martin Luther have a dream?
Was Haile Selassie I a king?
And is it ok to sometimes feel a little bit confused?
Will armageddon never come?
I'm not perfect, just forgiven.
And I might just push back the next time you shove.
Do I believe in one God, one aim and destiny?
Just don't forget your first love,
That's what my moms use to tell me.

If It Wasn't For You
None of this would ever mean a thing
If It Wasn't For You
Tell me why else would I believe?
Would I believe?

If It Wasn't For You
Then none of this is for nothing
It's all for nothing!

Back in August 2008 I decided to follow the will of God and move to Taiwan for 6 months. In Taiwan God led me to a bible university sort of school through YWAM (Youth With A Mission) called Discipleship Training School (DTS). In this school I not only learned how to be a missionary, but to rely on God with both the small and immense things. In this school I learned about God’s character, His love for us all, and the right way to go about gaining theology.

The first 3 months of this school was called the lecture phase. This phase was 11 weeks longs, where different teachers from all over the world came in and shared on a different topic. We also did outreach at elementary schools, retirement homes, universities, and coffee bar ministry. The topics consisted of, chronological order:

1. Hearing The Voice of God (Don Gillman; Taiwan YWAM Base Director)
2. Evangelism (Brent Wildeson; DTS Leader)
3. The Character of God (April & Michael Stevens; Taiwan SBS Leaders)
4. Spiritual Warfare (Ron & Judy Smith; Montana Base Leaders)
5. Evangelism, Meditation, Prayer, Proverbs On Money, and Sleep (Ron & Judy Smith; Kona, HI Base Leaders)
6. Relationships (Dan & Bee Myers; Taiwan SBS Leaders)
7. Biblical World View (Athena Gee & Michael Brown; Taiwan SBS Leaders)
8. Grace & Holiness (Scott Contival; Taiwan SBS Director)
9. Biblical Overview & The Holy Spirit of God (Athena Gee & Debi Yu; Taiwan SBS Leaders)
10. Mercy Ministries (Cary & Kim Gear; YWAM Leaders)
11. Missions (Garth Gustafson; Battambang, Cambodia Base Director)

The second part of DTS is the outreach phase. This year we went to Maharashtra, India. Unfortunately, at the time it seemed this way, my visa wasn’t in yet, so the rest of the team left, and I stayed in Taiwan. The whole week I was there I tried to figure out why God allowed this. On that Wednesday I sat in on SOFM (School of Frontier Missions) and was able to hear about finances, and how to go about not only gaining financial support as a full-time missionary, but how to develop friendships that will last a lifetime. I liked the speaker so much that I sat in on the class that Thursday AND Friday.

In India we did many things, from challenging house churches to grow spiritually, to helping plant churches and keep them going strong. We encouraged so many people in this country, and it was a blessing to be there, and be able to reach out to such a hurting and lost group of beautiful people.

Now I’m back in the good old USA. When I first arrived two weeks ago, February 16, I felt so lost. God wasn’t speaking, and I had no idea what He wanted me to do until my return to Taiwan as a full-time missionary began. I’m still not sure what He wants me to do, but now I have peace in knowing that I’m here simply because He has a reason.
My plans are to return to Taiwan this summer, study the Chinese language for 2 years full-time, staff DTS for 2 years, and eventually open a new YWAM base in Kenting, Taiwan.

I know that no matter what God will provide. He’s proven that time and time again in my life. My calling as a missionary is something I know will help expand God’s Kingdom. I long to reach the people of Taiwan, and possible Mainland China one day, but I can’t do it without God. If you feel like God is telling you to help me spiritually then please contact me. If you feel like God is telling you to support me financial then please contact me as well, or go to my website at ChrisNickJoy and go to the Donate page.
I look forward to hearing from everybody that’s interested in both forms of support, and I pray we never lose sight of the great commission set before us all:

“Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Matthew 28:16-20 (NIV)

That Time of Waiting On God

The chapter has ended, and the story has come to an end. The beginning of a missionary's life is something of old. I went, started the process, waited on God, and triumphed according to God's will. Now I'm back in my homeland, America. Waiting on God is a hard thing, especially when He isn't talking.

Reentry has been a challenge. Something I never thought would be. Thank God I have a place to reside. My best friend took me in, knowing the burden of reverse culture shock. I'm at a crossroad in my life. Get a job, reach for support to return to the world God has called me to, forfeit it all once again? I don't know...

I went to Winbourne today, trying to get back to my roots. Pastor Rizzo stated that prayer is the key, and I know he's right. My tired body is looking for the key. The key my restless soul knows where to find. God is here, looking right in my eyes. What do I do? A burdened missionary. I need His guidance. I need His strength. Christ Jesus, I wait for your Word. Tell me the direction, and I'm sure to go. As for now, life goes on. I'm hear for a reason, and surely I will find it. Thank you God for DTS, and thank you for opening that door. Continue to show mercy on me, as I walk this path...this path of a poor missionary. I love you God, show me mercy.

Purpose

So, I'm back...in Baton Rouge, and I have NO idea what to do. I have no money, no job, no sense of purpose, and God is being silent. The bad thing about this situation is that back in Taiwan I had a drive. I was surrounded by people with a similar purpose, "To Know God, And Make Him Known". We weren't worried about money, cars, a house (The American Dream). We only cared about telling people about Christ. Now that I'm back in a country that I know I'm not called to be in I feel empty. I feel lost, and unimportant, and COMPLETELY powerless (which is how I'm supposed to feel regardless). I know God has me here for a reason, and I know I'll be back in Taiwan on HIS TIME, but I don't know what to do...period.

Pray God shows me something. The fact that I'm having reverse culture shock and jet-lagging doesn't help either.

The most asked (and biggest) question I've been asked the last couple of weeks is "What's next?". DTS graduation was just 2 days ago, and by the grace of God I'm able to continue my stay here in Taiwan until February 15. Tomorrow is Chinese New Year, and tonight I'm celebrating it the Chinese way with the Huang family, along with Ryan, Kim, Marcus, Isabelle, and Corni. The rest of the time I'm here Corni, Isabelle, Ann, Marcus, Kim, and I are traveling all over Taiwan to visit friends and places.

I have a meeting with my church's, Healing Place Church, missions pastor, Pastor Mark, right after I get back to the States. After that I'm going to rest, and start pursuing full-time support to return to Taiwan, where I'm going to start my language studies, and then staff DTS. I'm not sure how I'm going to go about doing all this in the States, since my car was stolen since I've been here in Taiwan, but I do know I can trust God with everything.

The question "What's next?" is quite simple. Keep pursuing God, keep my head up, keep being teachable, and continue to trust in Him.

Newly Uploaded India Photos

I know it took way too long, but I've FINALLY uploaded some new photos on my Website. So, check out the site, which STILL needs a lot of updating, and let me know what you think. Sorry, about the lack of updating. I just got back from being in India for 2 months, and ministry in that country is draining to the spirit, mind, and body. Blessings from Taiwan!!!

Life Changes

These last 2 months in India have been a major influence on my faith in God. I've been so many people begging to know God, kids memorizing scripture verses in their second language, and adults falling to the ground as the presence of the Spirit of God has come into them. I lived in a country (USA) primarily controlled by secularism. Where even Christians still think logically/scientific about their faith. Personally, I've been challenged by the beautiful people here in India to look past my scientific mindset and just let the Spirit come in with no questions asked.

While preparing for my preaching in a few days, and reading my daily bible devotion, I came across Psalm 27. David writes this Psalm to God right after he had an opportunity to kill his enemy, King Saul, in a cave David, and his army of 600 were hiding in. David's men tell him to kill Saul, but David knows God has anointed Saul to be king of Israel, no matter how corrupt and evil he had become. David cuts a piece of Saul's robe in secret, and while Saul and his army are marching away from the cave David emerges and yells out to Saul. David explains that he had the opportunity to kill Saul, but he didn't. Saul in return blesses David, and stops pursuing David for a while.

Psalm 27 challenged me, because David is praising God for His protection. 1 Samuel 13:14 states that 'he is a man after God's own heart'. This is not because David is sinless. Actually, David is quite the opposite. David lies, cheats, steals, commits adultery, and even murders to cover up his adultery. David is a called 'a man after God's own heart' because David's number priority is to dwell in the presence of God for all eternity.

My ultimate prayer in life is to get to that point of longing to being with God above all else. God has used my presence in India to challenge me to change my character. I'm not the man I once was. I need God, and I acknowledge this now. My faith is in Him, and I pray that nothing else will matter in my life as long as I'm in His presence.