God has been really moving in my life since I decided to trust in Him with my finances (read previous blog). To be honest, I prayed a really dangerous prayer that caused me to not realize that when I told God I was willing to give up every He would do it. Wednesday night, the charger to my Mac overheated and it completely stopped working. Therefore, I couldn't charge/use my computer. And of course, this happens after I release all my finances to God. Thursday I was able to get the charger to charge the computer fully, but I tried to recharge it after class and it wouldn't.
Friday morning I woke up so mad at God that I skipped my quiet-time. We had worship at the DTS classroom at 9:30, and I went just wanting to get it over with. The very first song started, and I broke down. I honestly didn't realize I was being bitter towards God until that point. I realized then that God was testing me if I was truly willing to give up EVERYTHING to follow Him. I cried, and cried, and cried, confessed my sins, cried some more, and confessed even more.
Conviction is such a powerful tool, and oh such a blessing from God. I officially gave it all to God Friday morning, not even longing for God to replace anything in my life physically. While sitting at my home during lunch Friday afternoon Janet (fellow DTS student from Taiwan) came up to me and handed me money to buy a new charger. I just couldn't believe it. She told me that God showed her that I was spending too much time on my computer when I should be spending it growing in His Word. God told her it was a message from Him to not only be joyful when He gives and takes away, but be longing to seek Him first and foremost.
I'm so glad I decided to listen to God, instead of man, take a leap of faith, even if I didn't have all the finances for DTS, and give up everything to follow HIM and come to DTS in Taiwan. I've learned so much about God (His character, love, mercy, grace, wrath, holiness, etc), myself (faith, beliefs, etc), and the world (biblical world view) in these 8 short weeks than I have ever learned going to church, reading the bible, or going to small group. God Bless Taiwan, YWAM, And DTS!!!!!!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Laying It ALL On The Altar
First came the house, the car, and friends/family. I thought I gave up everything to come to Taiwan to grow closer to God through DTS, but nothing could of prepared me for what happened two days ago. I woke up with the desire to give financially to YWAM. I wasn't sure how much at the time, but after going to the Lord in prayer, He clearly stated 'EVERYTHING'.
So, I opened my dresser and pulled out the perfectly rolled up NT (New Taiwanese) bills, and walked up to Josh, DTS leader. I told him:
To be honest, this was the hardest decision I've ever had to do so far in short lived life. Since I had to grow up fast, being in the Foster Care system for pretty much my entire childhood, I had to work for everything I wanted for myself. I never had support, or a place to run to when things got rough. Even when I did finally make that important decision to follow Christ Jesus I didn't know I could trust Him for a long time.
When I handed the money to Josh, I almost broke down. I could believe I was trusting God for EVERYTHING. I still had a couple hundred NT in my wallet that I longed to keep for food, but while in class God convicted me. God asked me if I was willing to trust Him 100% or just simply 95%. So, after class I pulled the last bit of money I had in my wallet, including all the change, and gave it to Josh.
I'm not sharing this because I believe I have greater faith than the next person. I knew deep down I didn't trust God enough, and because of this reality I knew I had to step up to the plate. I know the path is going to be rough because of this decision, but I honestly have peace, and nothing can take that away.
So, I opened my dresser and pulled out the perfectly rolled up NT (New Taiwanese) bills, and walked up to Josh, DTS leader. I told him:
If I'm going to trust God in my ministry as a missionary, I need to trust Him in every part of my life. This includes my finances. Here's every bit of money I possess in this world, and I'm trusting He'll provide all my needs. I've relied on myself and man for far too long, and if I want to reach the next step in my life as a missionary I need to trust Him with all my decisions AND finances.
To be honest, this was the hardest decision I've ever had to do so far in short lived life. Since I had to grow up fast, being in the Foster Care system for pretty much my entire childhood, I had to work for everything I wanted for myself. I never had support, or a place to run to when things got rough. Even when I did finally make that important decision to follow Christ Jesus I didn't know I could trust Him for a long time.
When I handed the money to Josh, I almost broke down. I could believe I was trusting God for EVERYTHING. I still had a couple hundred NT in my wallet that I longed to keep for food, but while in class God convicted me. God asked me if I was willing to trust Him 100% or just simply 95%. So, after class I pulled the last bit of money I had in my wallet, including all the change, and gave it to Josh.
I'm not sharing this because I believe I have greater faith than the next person. I knew deep down I didn't trust God enough, and because of this reality I knew I had to step up to the plate. I know the path is going to be rough because of this decision, but I honestly have peace, and nothing can take that away.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Relationships
This week has been a real challenge for me in DTS. The topic of discussion for the week was relationships. Monday Dane & Bee Myers talked about our Relationship With God on Monday, Family on Tuesday, Confrontation on Wednesday, Dating on Thursday, and Marriage today (Friday). My personal relationship with God, is pretty solid, and growing each day. My family relationship, not so good. I struggle to even call my mom every week, and sometimes I don't even call her once a week.
Probably the biggest struggle for me was the dating and marriage topics. Hard to believe, but I've recently laid down my rights to marriage on the altar. I honestly don't care if I get married, and I'm even to point where I think it'll be a hindrance to my walk and call to missions at this time. Like Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5;
Since I made a promise with God a few years ago concerning impurity there is no need for marriage like this passage states. Sure Paul was a little weird, but think about it. If you're spiritually attached to another human, there will have to be times where you have to spend time with this person. Time, ultimately, I'd rather be spending concentrating walking in my call and personal time with God. A married man, can't just pack up and fly off to another country for months at a time, but someone that has no ties can. I'm not saying that I'll never get married, but I am saying that I have given up my right to it all 100%.
If I do get married, it will truly be from God. My standards for marriage is that she HAS to have the exact some call to Taiwan and Asia, as me. She HAS to be willing to travel to remote places, maybe never have our own house, fancy car, or lots of money. I'm called to be a disciple and missionary of God. I'm trying to give up my rights to everything, including my own life. To do this requires giving up EVERYTHING, including my rights to marriage and children.
Probably the biggest struggle for me was the dating and marriage topics. Hard to believe, but I've recently laid down my rights to marriage on the altar. I honestly don't care if I get married, and I'm even to point where I think it'll be a hindrance to my walk and call to missions at this time. Like Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5;
Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Since I made a promise with God a few years ago concerning impurity there is no need for marriage like this passage states. Sure Paul was a little weird, but think about it. If you're spiritually attached to another human, there will have to be times where you have to spend time with this person. Time, ultimately, I'd rather be spending concentrating walking in my call and personal time with God. A married man, can't just pack up and fly off to another country for months at a time, but someone that has no ties can. I'm not saying that I'll never get married, but I am saying that I have given up my right to it all 100%.
If I do get married, it will truly be from God. My standards for marriage is that she HAS to have the exact some call to Taiwan and Asia, as me. She HAS to be willing to travel to remote places, maybe never have our own house, fancy car, or lots of money. I'm called to be a disciple and missionary of God. I'm trying to give up my rights to everything, including my own life. To do this requires giving up EVERYTHING, including my rights to marriage and children.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
One Long & Powerful Month
A relationship renewed, new faces becoming friends, and a new place to call home. Being here in Taiwan has changed virtually everything about my views of God, and even part of my own character. It's been a long month being overseas, away from my family & friends, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I've learned, and still learning, so much about Listening To The Voice of God, Evangelism, The Character of God, and Spiritual Warfare. I can honestly say that I've learned more here than I've learned & been able to acknowledge with the 4 years of going to church on a regular basis, and the months spent in a ministry school. I'm not sure what it is, but I believe the people here that impact me are the most amazing people I've ever met.
Brent & April Wildeson (DTS Staff/At Risk Women Ministry) are, to say the least, the greatest inspirational couple I've had the joy to grow with. There's just something about Brent that draws me to know more about him. Nash Huang (YWAM translator/DTS leader) is incredible as well. He still has a lot of growing to do, like us all, but has been blessed by God in so many ways, and he knows this.
Learning to hear the voice of God has been the most challenging thing I've even done. Especially, after hearing a direction from God, going out and doing what He has shared with me. Being bold has been a big problem in my past after hearing something from God and simply not sharing it. Now, I'm learning boldness is key to becoming more acquainted with my heavenly Father. Also, to make things cooler, I'm been shown the location of my calling as a missionary, and it's Taiwan. Confirmation after confirmation have come pouring into my life. Even an attack from a demonic being, showing the enemy doesn't want me here, has fueled my ambition to keep battling for the Taiwanese people still dwelling in the dark.
Keep praying for my finances. I'm still short, but I've fully given it to God, and I'm tired of worrying about stupid stuff. I'm also heading to Hong Kong tonight to renew my Visa for Taiwan. Pray I have favor with the Taiwanese government, and everything goes smoothly. Lastly, pray for my boldness. I long to be like Paul, being unafraid of not pleasing people, but caring about what God whats. Blessings.
Brent & April Wildeson (DTS Staff/At Risk Women Ministry) are, to say the least, the greatest inspirational couple I've had the joy to grow with. There's just something about Brent that draws me to know more about him. Nash Huang (YWAM translator/DTS leader) is incredible as well. He still has a lot of growing to do, like us all, but has been blessed by God in so many ways, and he knows this.
Learning to hear the voice of God has been the most challenging thing I've even done. Especially, after hearing a direction from God, going out and doing what He has shared with me. Being bold has been a big problem in my past after hearing something from God and simply not sharing it. Now, I'm learning boldness is key to becoming more acquainted with my heavenly Father. Also, to make things cooler, I'm been shown the location of my calling as a missionary, and it's Taiwan. Confirmation after confirmation have come pouring into my life. Even an attack from a demonic being, showing the enemy doesn't want me here, has fueled my ambition to keep battling for the Taiwanese people still dwelling in the dark.
Keep praying for my finances. I'm still short, but I've fully given it to God, and I'm tired of worrying about stupid stuff. I'm also heading to Hong Kong tonight to renew my Visa for Taiwan. Pray I have favor with the Taiwanese government, and everything goes smoothly. Lastly, pray for my boldness. I long to be like Paul, being unafraid of not pleasing people, but caring about what God whats. Blessings.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
One Accord
Many people from different countries, with numerous backgrounds, but one heart. A passion to learn more about God, get equipped to fight a common enemy, and spread the Word of God to all nations. Week one was an eye opener for myself, and I hope for many others as well. Beliefs renewed, a relationship rekindled, and wisdom shared from one to another. My fervor to be part of the ministry here in Taiwan has been transformed from a dream to an ultimate reality. Learning to stop being a deductive bible reader wasn’t as much of a challenge as learning to be still in the presence of God and waiting on Him.
Gack brought to the table a clear and simply way of learning more from reading my bible through inductive reading. I’m still in awe on how much more I’m learning now. Don Gillman showed us how to productively talk with God through intercessory prayer. Acknowledging the Spirit of God as being the leader, not myself, and praising God for speaking to me (anticipation), never once crossed my mind.
Small group this week was powerful. No spoken words, not bible study, no group prayer, just being in the presence of my Father, in the countryside, and soaking up His beauty. All of us guys went to a small waterfall, where I was reminded of God’s admirable beauty. Just being surrounded by nature’s splendor made me realize that God is everywhere. I pray this next week will be full of situations involving learning something new, and being able to continue to apply the things I’ve learned from this first week.
If Jealously Was A Knife, We'd All Be Dead...
Gack brought to the table a clear and simply way of learning more from reading my bible through inductive reading. I’m still in awe on how much more I’m learning now. Don Gillman showed us how to productively talk with God through intercessory prayer. Acknowledging the Spirit of God as being the leader, not myself, and praising God for speaking to me (anticipation), never once crossed my mind.
Small group this week was powerful. No spoken words, not bible study, no group prayer, just being in the presence of my Father, in the countryside, and soaking up His beauty. All of us guys went to a small waterfall, where I was reminded of God’s admirable beauty. Just being surrounded by nature’s splendor made me realize that God is everywhere. I pray this next week will be full of situations involving learning something new, and being able to continue to apply the things I’ve learned from this first week.
If Jealously Was A Knife, We'd All Be Dead...
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Taiwan
So, after 31 hours of plane rides/layovers I finally made it to Dan Shui, Taiwan. I haven't been able to check out the local area, due to a typhoon tearing its way through Taiwan. Hopefully tomorrow, Sunday, I'll be able to get acquainted with my beautiful, yet busy, surrounding. My expectations were blown away of what I would be experiencing, and I'm stoked that God has brought me here. My life is about to change, for the better, forever.
We have students from all over the world this year. Two of us are from the States, one from Mongolia, two from Japan, two from Germany, one from Brazil, one from Holland, one from Canada, and one from the Philippines. I'd love to write more, but it's really late, and I have church in the morning. The pictures below are me on the plane right over Tokyo, and the other is in DanShui, Taiwan. Blessings! Also, I added more pictures on my website.
We have students from all over the world this year. Two of us are from the States, one from Mongolia, two from Japan, two from Germany, one from Brazil, one from Holland, one from Canada, and one from the Philippines. I'd love to write more, but it's really late, and I have church in the morning. The pictures below are me on the plane right over Tokyo, and the other is in DanShui, Taiwan. Blessings! Also, I added more pictures on my website.
Monday, September 8, 2008
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