The Nazirite (נזיר) Call

Recently (well, more like the past few days) I've been getting the drive to do more with my walk with God. I feel this urge to stand up and proclaim Him. Not just with words or actions, but by example. For some reason I purchased Lou Engle's "The Call of the Nazirite" DVD from The Call's Website last week. I got it in the mail yesterday. I watched it, and MAN, God was reaching out to me.

So, I've decided to pray that if it's God's will for me I will take the vow of the Nazirite, נזיר. It's a huge vow, one that requires a lot (Numbers 6). John the Baptist was a Nazarite, and many people believe that Jesus took the vow during the 'last supper' and right before he was betrayed.

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take it; this is my body.” Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, and they all drank from it. “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many,” he said to them. “Truly I tell you, I will not drink again from the fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new in the kingdom of God.”

- Mark 14:22-25                   

I want more out of my walk. I doubt I'm called to take the vow as a lifer, like John the Baptist, but I'm still praying about when, how long, and if I'm even suppose to take the vow at all. Keep me in your prayers. For this is going to be radical, crazy, and AMAZING....

Happily Ever After

We all have this dream of "happily ever after". A dream where, in the end, our dreams come true, and everything we wanted comes our way. I use to have this dream. A dream of finding the girl, the perfect job, a house, a nice fancy car, and a savings account jealous of any man. Then I met God. He literally destroyed my life. He showed me what He really sought after in life.

These days, I work for one of the biggest oil companies in the world, Chevron, as an IT specialist. Sure, the title sounds fancy, and the money is nice, but I'm not where HE designed me to be in the long haul. I look at my life and I wonder. My passion is missions in Asia, where the orphan scene thrives. And here I am, working for a multi-trillion dollar organization as one of their thousands of IT people. Where I am? Honestly, I'm not lost. I'm right where HE wants me. I'm paying off my student loans, and He's preparing me for that life as a missionary. I'm not passionate about my job. Heck, I hate Mondays, but I thank Him for these days. The days of preparation. I will be prepared for my mission in life....will you? Will you?????

Times of Struggle = Times of Trust

Well, the past few weeks have been a struggle for me. Not only spiritually, but financially and everything in between. Driving back from Seqouia Sunday night I was talking with God and I realized some things. I hate my job, Bakersfield, and my passions are not being fulfilled. I was driving away from something I loved, the outdoors with camping, hiking & flyfishing, and driving towards a life I sometimes feel is meaningless right now. I realized I was frustrated with life, and not being where I wanted to be. I started telling Abba about how it wasn't fair that all of my missionary friends were in the mission fields, and I'm 'stuck' in a town I can't stand.

I remember exactly what I said to God.

Why do I have to be in this stupid town, in this stupid preparation time that is lasting years, while all of my friend's prep times were short, and they were exactly where they wanted to be?

God was silent for only a second. He then started putting men of the bible in my thoughts that had to wait YEARS before they even started their ministry. David had to wait at least 13 years from the time he was told he was going to be Israel's king as a young man until he was crowded. Moses was 80 when he started his mission of leading the Israelites out of Egypt. Even Jesus waited until he was 30 before he started his ministry. God reminded me that with a great calling, there's a great preparation time.

When I got home Sunday the brakes on the Limiero's car were squeaking, and the MP3 tape device got stuck in the tape player. I took the player apart and removed the tape, but the tape function doesn't work any more. Yesterday I lost my personal keys at work. I couldn't remember where I had them last. I had traveled all over San Joaquin valley for work. I ended up traveling back to Midway and Kern River, but still couldn't find them. On my drive back from Midway at 9pm I got so angry with myself. My past was full of drug and alcohol use, and my memory suffered from it. I tend to forget the small things, nothing important.

I hated myself so much for losing my keys and not being able to remember the last time I had them. It's quite frustrating indeed. I've been praying for years for God to restore my memory, but it hasn't happened yet. I forced myself to abandon that hatred last night and I just let it go to God. Peace fell over, and I just stopped stressing over my keys. Jonathan is out of time, and therefore I had no way into my apartment, and I had to leave the Limiero's car in the Chevron HQ parking lot. I drove my work vehicle home, and was able to get a hold of my landlord and she gave me a spare key to get into the apartment. This morning I emailed a person at Midway to see if they found my keys, and sure enough, she had them on her desk.

The chapter I'm in right now has been a struggle on many battle fronts. I've learned that if I just TRUST God I will never fall. Pslams 37 is a good reminder of how the righteous will never be forgotten by God. He's teaching me trust, and I'm hardheaded, so this may take some time :P

In Moderation

Recently, I've been spending a lot of time on Facebook, and not even realizing it. I had the social networking app on my phone, with text messages coming to my phone whenever close friends posted anything on Facebook. I had it bookmarked on my Mac, and my Firefox history was screaming Facebook all over it. I was even spending time on it at work!

Today, God confronted me about this social media addiction. Sure, Facebook, like most other things is great in moderation, but I was straight up addicted. I had to walk away, at least for some time. So, as of today, I deleted my Facebook account. It may sound silly, but it's going to be tough for the first few weeks to not wake up and check Facebook on my mobile first thing. I'm giving it at try, and hopefully this will motivate me to spend more time with my Father, and less time commenting on a post about what my friend ate for lunch.

Don't worry, friends & family. I'm not going through some weird depression of acceptance or anything like that. I'm doing good, and I want to be great by spending more time with God, my Abba. First was getting rid of cable TV. Now, its my addiction to Facebook. Pray I stay strong :)

Blessings...

For Those Looking For My Message

If you're having difficulty downloading the message I did at Life Journey Christian Church, go to my MediaFire link by clicking on the button below. Sorry for the issue. It's a 90MB file, so be a little patient when downloading it :) Blessings. FYI...This is the raw version. This means that there is no editing of the audio. Sorry if it gets too loud, quite, or other issues with it.