These past couple of days have been a trial I will never forget. I'm in the dark, and Mr. David said today that 2 to 3 years from now I'll be able to see what God was doing. I'm official blind right now, and all I have left is to keep walking. I can't see a thing, not even that stereotypical 'light at the end of the tunnel'. I've lost everything, and Craig Boutte said this is the time God has set aside to show me where my priorities are, and where they should be. All the plans I had for myself have failed, and the struggles I've endured seem irrelevant now. I'm at that inevitable crossroad now...do or die. The place where every follower of Christ much stumble across. I'm fortunate enough to deal with this decision early in my walk, unlike some many people before, during, and after me. Rock bottom doesn't even come close to the state I'm in right now.
I hit rock bottom the day she denounced her love for me, and now I'm at the core. The core is fear. The core of despair. But like Paul said, God is merciful, and He'll never bring us through something without an escape. My flesh is weak, and my soul is weaker, but soon, my flesh will be strong and my soul will be unstoppable. I'm meant for more than most people could even imagine, and I'll be darn if the enemy will take away what I've ventured so hard to obtain. I'm a warrior, and God will set me FREE!!!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Sleepless Nights Alone
Reminds me of a past life when everything was beautiful...
Still Remains - Sleepless Nights Alone
At the end of all the earth
I find you here alone
At the forefront of my heart
And the butterflies
That tried to bring you life
Have died and gone away
Oh we are apart and I am lost
So while she sleeps, she dreams
We spend another sleepless night alone
You're so flirtatious with loneliness
And time just lingers on
We'll never become one
Forgot me, love
I've tried to bring you home
But I've died and gone away
Even if forever never comes
You're the only one
Who makes me come undone
Still Remains - Sleepless Nights Alone
At the end of all the earth
I find you here alone
At the forefront of my heart
And the butterflies
That tried to bring you life
Have died and gone away
Oh we are apart and I am lost
So while she sleeps, she dreams
We spend another sleepless night alone
You're so flirtatious with loneliness
And time just lingers on
We'll never become one
Forgot me, love
I've tried to bring you home
But I've died and gone away
Even if forever never comes
You're the only one
Who makes me come undone
A Gospel Lifestyle
The Word of God, the bible, talks about living a life of spreading the Gospel of Christ daily. How can you do this? Well, I gave a testimony, not mine, to my roommate today about Jonathan sharing the Word to a chinese girl a while back. It came down to the girl wanting to know why Jonathan was happy, and smiling, and joking around all the time. He told her he had Jesus, and let it go. For about 2 weeks she kept on asking him why he was so happy and he's only say the same thing. Finally, one day the girl grabbed him and demanding to know what Jesus was. That's when God released him and let him share the Word.
You see, by just us living a happy life, and showing love to everybody, even our enemies, we are spreading the Gospel. Mark said, we should show the world the Gospel, and sometimes it require words.
I've been so frustrated these past few weeks. Trying so hard to decide if this promise I have built up inside me is of God or not. Honestly, I don't know any more. She's telling me it will never happen, most of my 'friends' are saying the same thing. One friend is telling me to give it to God, and one is saying I need to win her love again. I'm tired of this scar in my heart growing bigger every day. I'm tired of the rejection, and the burden.
I'm pretty certain that I'm not showing the Gospel through my actions at work, which is where my mind wonders most of the time, and I have time to think about her. I pray God gives me strength, and shows me why I can't give it all to Him. I want to move on, but my promise is too strong. I thank God every day for my best friend, Jonathan McNabb. He's now praying with me to see if my promise is true. God, you're so wonderful, and I praise you with every breath I take. I've had to sacrifice so much these past 3 months, but I've grown and gained more than I've ever lost.
You see, by just us living a happy life, and showing love to everybody, even our enemies, we are spreading the Gospel. Mark said, we should show the world the Gospel, and sometimes it require words.
I've been so frustrated these past few weeks. Trying so hard to decide if this promise I have built up inside me is of God or not. Honestly, I don't know any more. She's telling me it will never happen, most of my 'friends' are saying the same thing. One friend is telling me to give it to God, and one is saying I need to win her love again. I'm tired of this scar in my heart growing bigger every day. I'm tired of the rejection, and the burden.
I'm pretty certain that I'm not showing the Gospel through my actions at work, which is where my mind wonders most of the time, and I have time to think about her. I pray God gives me strength, and shows me why I can't give it all to Him. I want to move on, but my promise is too strong. I thank God every day for my best friend, Jonathan McNabb. He's now praying with me to see if my promise is true. God, you're so wonderful, and I praise you with every breath I take. I've had to sacrifice so much these past 3 months, but I've grown and gained more than I've ever lost.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
With Blood Comes Cleansing
**These are the lyrics to With Blood Comes Cleansing's new album 'Horror'**
There is no one righteous, not even one; no one seeks God. Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit. Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood; ruin and misery mark their ways, and the way of peace they do not know. There is no fear of the Lord before their eyes. Fear God, and give Him glory, because the hour of His judgment has come.
As mortal death was at the door, the night seemed darker than before. Silence but no peace, visions of agony. The sweat and blood pour out, hemorrhaging from the pores of His body. Rise up, the betrayer is at hand. The Son of Man betrayed into the hands of sinners. Innocent blood will be shed by the hands of the guilty. As mortal death was at the door, the night seemed darker than before. The sweat and blood pour out, hemorrhaging from the pores of His body.
Forsaken by His closest friends, treated like a thief. See them draw their weapons; see them draw their swords. See them draw their weapons; they draw their swords. He was taken like a criminal, His innocence among the thieves. Liars, false witnesses, scourged to please the crowd. With each lash the skin is torn. Lash upon lash, ripping flesh from the bone. He took our sickness; He took our sorrow. By His stripes we are healed.
Nails hammered through His hands and feet, blood spraying from His veins and His body’s weak. Lifted up, a mangled spectacle for all the world to see, beaten and ridiculed lying in agony, His blood has set us free. Each breath is harder than the last. Our sin clinging to His body, now it is finished. He felt forsaken, He felt all alone. The earth begins to shake, graves are opened their bodies are awake. Our sin clinging to His body, now it is finished. He felt forsaken, He felt all alone.
The sin of the world was placed upon Him, leaving our filthy stains. His holy body was placed in the earth for three days and three nights. He descended low into the earth, the place where spirits where held. He took the keys of hell and death, plans of the enemy failed. Into hell and back again, capturing captivity. Into hell and back again, openly. The battle has been won. The tomb is empty; He’s alive. He ascended on high. Arisen from the grave now we all can be saved the price for sin is now paid.
As He left is how He shall return, separating the sky. It’s up to you. What choice will you decide? Will you live or will you die? Many things are written, written in His word, prophecies being fulfilled. Suffering and pain for the wicked ones, but peace for those who have been sealed. Time is short now count the cost. He will come back to judge the lost. Earthquakes and famines, a world that’s filled with pain. Hatred and war, the suffering begins. Earthquakes and famines, a world that’s filled with pain. Vengeance and murder, the earth is at its end. As He left is how He shall return separating the sky. It’s up to you what choice will you decide? Will you live or will you die?
The sun will blacken and the moon become as blood. The stars will fall from space. People will flee to the mountains, to hide their bodies from His face. The sun will blacken and the moon become as blood. The stars will fall from space. The day of His wrath will come, on wicked men. The day of His wrath will come, who shall stand? Blood and fire shall burn the earth. Woe to those who inhabit the earth, in His wrath they won’t stand. The day of His wrath will come, on wicked men. The day of His wrath will come, who shall stand. Soon the mountain will be burning with fire. Soon the water will turn bitter. The day of His wrath will come, on wicked men. The day of His wrath will come, who shall stand? Blood and fire shall burn the earth.
As the pit is opened up the smoke will fill the sky. As the air is filled with darkness, they shall begin to fly. These demon locusts, will obey their king. Commanded not to kill their victims only to sting. Shaped like horses prepared for battle, with the power of a scorpion. Released to torture God’s opposition, all the rejecters all the blasphemers. Death shall flee. There is no way out. Hear their victims’ screams as they fill the sky. Cursed to feel the torture, they long to die. These demon locusts will obey their king. Commanded not to kill their victims, only to sting. Death shall flee.
It’s written in the pages. You have been warned for years. Armageddon’s coming, the sum of all your fears. You chose whom you would serve. You chose your side, now you get what you deserve. You chose your side, now pay the price. The battle lines have been drawn, knee deep in blood we’ll sing our victory song. War like this world has never seen; the time for mercy has passed. Evil shall triumph no more. This world wins no more. It’s written in the pages. You have been warned for years. Armageddon’s coming, the sum of all your fears.
Carcasses will be everywhere, left to decay, enough flesh left behind, for the birds to feed. The armies of the beast shall wallow in defeat, their mangled bodies rotting, left for the birds to eat. Carcasses will be everywhere left to decay. The armies of the beast shall wallow in defeat. With the sword of His mouth He will slaughter the wicked. He’ll be riding on a white horse, His garments dipped in blood, Heaven’s army following, wrath poured out like a flood. King of Kings and Lord of Lords, King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Carcasses will be everywhere, left to decay, enough flesh behind for the birds to feed. The armies of the beast shall wallow in defeat, their mangled bodies rotting, left for the birds to eat. With the sword of His mouth He will slaughter the wicked.
One thousand years you will be bound up. When set free you will deceive. God’s judgment on you will come quickly; the flames will gladly then receive. Then your pain shall bring us comfort. We shall rejoice as you suffer in the flames. Into the lake with the beast and false prophet, there you’ll receive your eternal damnation. We shall rejoice as you suffer in the flames. One thousand years you will be bound up. When set free you will deceive. God’s judgment on you will come quickly; the flames will gladly then receive.
Destroyed by fire, many things will pass away. A new Heaven and new earth will stand for eternity. Destroyed by fire, many things will pass away. No more sorrow, nothing left to fear. God our father shall wipe away all our tears. No more darkness, no more night, His holy presence shall be the light. Behold all things are new. Only those whose name are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, shall live forever in this city, where there no longer will be strife. No more sorrow, nothing left to fear, God our father, shall wipe away all our tears. No more darkness, no more night, His holy presence shall be the light. Behold all things are made new. All things are new.
There is no one righteous, not even one; no one seeks God. Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit. Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood; ruin and misery mark their ways, and the way of peace they do not know. There is no fear of the Lord before their eyes. Fear God, and give Him glory, because the hour of His judgment has come.
As mortal death was at the door, the night seemed darker than before. Silence but no peace, visions of agony. The sweat and blood pour out, hemorrhaging from the pores of His body. Rise up, the betrayer is at hand. The Son of Man betrayed into the hands of sinners. Innocent blood will be shed by the hands of the guilty. As mortal death was at the door, the night seemed darker than before. The sweat and blood pour out, hemorrhaging from the pores of His body.
Forsaken by His closest friends, treated like a thief. See them draw their weapons; see them draw their swords. See them draw their weapons; they draw their swords. He was taken like a criminal, His innocence among the thieves. Liars, false witnesses, scourged to please the crowd. With each lash the skin is torn. Lash upon lash, ripping flesh from the bone. He took our sickness; He took our sorrow. By His stripes we are healed.
Nails hammered through His hands and feet, blood spraying from His veins and His body’s weak. Lifted up, a mangled spectacle for all the world to see, beaten and ridiculed lying in agony, His blood has set us free. Each breath is harder than the last. Our sin clinging to His body, now it is finished. He felt forsaken, He felt all alone. The earth begins to shake, graves are opened their bodies are awake. Our sin clinging to His body, now it is finished. He felt forsaken, He felt all alone.
The sin of the world was placed upon Him, leaving our filthy stains. His holy body was placed in the earth for three days and three nights. He descended low into the earth, the place where spirits where held. He took the keys of hell and death, plans of the enemy failed. Into hell and back again, capturing captivity. Into hell and back again, openly. The battle has been won. The tomb is empty; He’s alive. He ascended on high. Arisen from the grave now we all can be saved the price for sin is now paid.
As He left is how He shall return, separating the sky. It’s up to you. What choice will you decide? Will you live or will you die? Many things are written, written in His word, prophecies being fulfilled. Suffering and pain for the wicked ones, but peace for those who have been sealed. Time is short now count the cost. He will come back to judge the lost. Earthquakes and famines, a world that’s filled with pain. Hatred and war, the suffering begins. Earthquakes and famines, a world that’s filled with pain. Vengeance and murder, the earth is at its end. As He left is how He shall return separating the sky. It’s up to you what choice will you decide? Will you live or will you die?
The sun will blacken and the moon become as blood. The stars will fall from space. People will flee to the mountains, to hide their bodies from His face. The sun will blacken and the moon become as blood. The stars will fall from space. The day of His wrath will come, on wicked men. The day of His wrath will come, who shall stand? Blood and fire shall burn the earth. Woe to those who inhabit the earth, in His wrath they won’t stand. The day of His wrath will come, on wicked men. The day of His wrath will come, who shall stand. Soon the mountain will be burning with fire. Soon the water will turn bitter. The day of His wrath will come, on wicked men. The day of His wrath will come, who shall stand? Blood and fire shall burn the earth.
As the pit is opened up the smoke will fill the sky. As the air is filled with darkness, they shall begin to fly. These demon locusts, will obey their king. Commanded not to kill their victims only to sting. Shaped like horses prepared for battle, with the power of a scorpion. Released to torture God’s opposition, all the rejecters all the blasphemers. Death shall flee. There is no way out. Hear their victims’ screams as they fill the sky. Cursed to feel the torture, they long to die. These demon locusts will obey their king. Commanded not to kill their victims, only to sting. Death shall flee.
It’s written in the pages. You have been warned for years. Armageddon’s coming, the sum of all your fears. You chose whom you would serve. You chose your side, now you get what you deserve. You chose your side, now pay the price. The battle lines have been drawn, knee deep in blood we’ll sing our victory song. War like this world has never seen; the time for mercy has passed. Evil shall triumph no more. This world wins no more. It’s written in the pages. You have been warned for years. Armageddon’s coming, the sum of all your fears.
Carcasses will be everywhere, left to decay, enough flesh left behind, for the birds to feed. The armies of the beast shall wallow in defeat, their mangled bodies rotting, left for the birds to eat. Carcasses will be everywhere left to decay. The armies of the beast shall wallow in defeat. With the sword of His mouth He will slaughter the wicked. He’ll be riding on a white horse, His garments dipped in blood, Heaven’s army following, wrath poured out like a flood. King of Kings and Lord of Lords, King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Carcasses will be everywhere, left to decay, enough flesh behind for the birds to feed. The armies of the beast shall wallow in defeat, their mangled bodies rotting, left for the birds to eat. With the sword of His mouth He will slaughter the wicked.
One thousand years you will be bound up. When set free you will deceive. God’s judgment on you will come quickly; the flames will gladly then receive. Then your pain shall bring us comfort. We shall rejoice as you suffer in the flames. Into the lake with the beast and false prophet, there you’ll receive your eternal damnation. We shall rejoice as you suffer in the flames. One thousand years you will be bound up. When set free you will deceive. God’s judgment on you will come quickly; the flames will gladly then receive.
Destroyed by fire, many things will pass away. A new Heaven and new earth will stand for eternity. Destroyed by fire, many things will pass away. No more sorrow, nothing left to fear. God our father shall wipe away all our tears. No more darkness, no more night, His holy presence shall be the light. Behold all things are new. Only those whose name are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, shall live forever in this city, where there no longer will be strife. No more sorrow, nothing left to fear, God our father, shall wipe away all our tears. No more darkness, no more night, His holy presence shall be the light. Behold all things are made new. All things are new.
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