The Journey To Life

As everybody now knows, Mary Beth and I are no longer a couple. It's been that way for about 2 weeks now. When this first happened I was defeated. I couldn't sleep; I didn't want to go to work, church, or even Elevate class. If the place/thing reminded me of her then I couldn't be near it. The break up wasn't really bad, but it was engaged by her in a very hurtful way. I'll keep the fine points out, because I don't want to hurt anyone.

Anyways, I was astounded how quickly God worked me through this, how dumb was I. The first week was nightmarish. All I could do was ask God to either give me tranquility and assurance that she was the one and all things would work out after Elevate, or take my affection for her away. Well, after a week of seeking Him diligently, He did the latter. I sincerely don't know if she's the one or not, but I do know God changed me and my feelings for her. My heart doesn’t hurt nor does it long for her anymore, and I’m happier than when I was with her.

It's humorous, but after all this I noticed I had more free time, and I wasn't spending it the way I usually did. I'm concentrating more on God and studying His Word, praying a lot more, and starting to fully understand my call in the missions’ field. I'm not saying Mary Beth was hindering me, because I was devoting my time on thinking about her, talking to her, etc., and not on God. I can't tell you the last time I played XBOX, or sat around and watched a movie. I also realized that cable TV sucks, and TV evangelists are corporate crocks. The things, not sinful, I thought we once fun, are simply boring, and I just want to read my bible and continue my walk with God.

I met this wonderful girl, I actually knew her before but didn’t know much about her, that’s friends with Esther. She’s probably the most intellectual and gifted person I’ve met in a long time. She’s published books, writes poetry, owns her own photography company, and knows more about world history and the English language in her toe than I do in my entire body, absolutely loves God, and is only 24 years old. I’m actually working on her website, which is officially my first full Flash design, and it’s coming out as excellent and beautiful as her ; ).

I’m loving life. Simply put I know, but as unparalleled as they come…