So, I opened my dresser and pulled out the perfectly rolled up NT (New Taiwanese) bills, and walked up to Josh, DTS leader. I told him:
If I'm going to trust God in my ministry as a missionary, I need to trust Him in every part of my life. This includes my finances. Here's every bit of money I possess in this world, and I'm trusting He'll provide all my needs. I've relied on myself and man for far too long, and if I want to reach the next step in my life as a missionary I need to trust Him with all my decisions AND finances.
To be honest, this was the hardest decision I've ever had to do so far in short lived life. Since I had to grow up fast, being in the Foster Care system for pretty much my entire childhood, I had to work for everything I wanted for myself. I never had support, or a place to run to when things got rough. Even when I did finally make that important decision to follow Christ Jesus I didn't know I could trust Him for a long time.
When I handed the money to Josh, I almost broke down. I could believe I was trusting God for EVERYTHING. I still had a couple hundred NT in my wallet that I longed to keep for food, but while in class God convicted me. God asked me if I was willing to trust Him 100% or just simply 95%. So, after class I pulled the last bit of money I had in my wallet, including all the change, and gave it to Josh.
I'm not sharing this because I believe I have greater faith than the next person. I knew deep down I didn't trust God enough, and because of this reality I knew I had to step up to the plate. I know the path is going to be rough because of this decision, but I honestly have peace, and nothing can take that away.
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