It's funny, yet really painful, how long it takes for us as humans to understand what God is doing in our lives. Heck, it took me 3 months to realize I was holding back my pure intimacy with Christ will dating my recent girlfriend. I never once realized I was placing God and her on the same pedestal.
To keep this short, mostly because I just got home from working a 13 hour shift, God works on His time. And to be frank, He has no time. I'm learning many things through this season in my life of being seperated from the woman I love the most.
1. God Is A Very Jealous God And Will Never Be Tied For First.
2. Pure Intimacy With God Will Lead To Dreams & Visions Come True.
3. There Are Many Splendors In Life.
4. The Road Is Long, Hard, and Full of Trials And Temptations.
5. Jesus Is The Way, The Truth, And The Life!
6. Mathew 6:33-34
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Peace, Love, Happiness
Sounds like what some hippy or new waver would say, but they're things I've only been able to truly experience when I give everything to God. I was in the valley for way too long, and I noticed I wasn't getting anywhere because I wasn't giving God my attention. The second I realized God was in charge was the second I felt peace, love, and happiness. Pastor Dino spoke about Love and several other topics this weekend. He said that human love will always let us down, and oh how it's so true.
To be honest, when I was in my most recent relationship I was letting her fill some of the hole in the heart that can only be filled by the Spirit of God. This was the true downfall of our relationship. I wasn't giving God everything I had, therefore He took things away to get my undivided attention. It took time, me running, and almost denouncing Him, for me to give Him everything. My prayers have been answered, my life is perfectly complete, and all it took was seeking God's face with everything I have. When you think about it, it's not very hard, but like Matthew wrote in Matthew 26:41, "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."
It is always true of the disciple that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, and he must therefore "watch and pray." The spirit knows the right way, and desires to follow it, but the flesh lacks courage and finds it too hard, too hazardous and wearisome, and it stifles the voice of the spirit. I wasn't watching for the enemy and he used the one person I love the most to get to me, and he won that fight. But, because I am renewed by the blood and sacrifice of my Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus, that win for him was also my victory. I've come to love God more than I ever have before. I long for His love, and He's blessed and shown me the way.
I now have a plan in life, a purpose to fulfill with every breath I take. I'm a disciple, a missionary, an apostle, a warrior, a worshiper, a friend, and most importantly, a child of the Living God, Emmanuel. I will show the world what it means to truly give it all the God. If this takes giving up my plans, which it has on many occasions, my life, my worldly job, my car, my finances, and my love, I will rest assured I did the right thing, AND I WILL HAVE PEACE!
To be honest, when I was in my most recent relationship I was letting her fill some of the hole in the heart that can only be filled by the Spirit of God. This was the true downfall of our relationship. I wasn't giving God everything I had, therefore He took things away to get my undivided attention. It took time, me running, and almost denouncing Him, for me to give Him everything. My prayers have been answered, my life is perfectly complete, and all it took was seeking God's face with everything I have. When you think about it, it's not very hard, but like Matthew wrote in Matthew 26:41, "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."
It is always true of the disciple that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, and he must therefore "watch and pray." The spirit knows the right way, and desires to follow it, but the flesh lacks courage and finds it too hard, too hazardous and wearisome, and it stifles the voice of the spirit. I wasn't watching for the enemy and he used the one person I love the most to get to me, and he won that fight. But, because I am renewed by the blood and sacrifice of my Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus, that win for him was also my victory. I've come to love God more than I ever have before. I long for His love, and He's blessed and shown me the way.
I now have a plan in life, a purpose to fulfill with every breath I take. I'm a disciple, a missionary, an apostle, a warrior, a worshiper, a friend, and most importantly, a child of the Living God, Emmanuel. I will show the world what it means to truly give it all the God. If this takes giving up my plans, which it has on many occasions, my life, my worldly job, my car, my finances, and my love, I will rest assured I did the right thing, AND I WILL HAVE PEACE!
Friday, February 1, 2008
When All Was Lost
Like all my friends know, I had literally lost my will to continue my pursuit of Christ. I lost the only woman I thought would never hurt me, and the best job I've ever had, all within 4 months. I got so depressed I publicly denounced my faith. Funny how when I asked people to STOP praying for me they did the exact opposite.
I got a word for David McNabb the other day. He told me about Pastor Dino's word about 16 years ago he was in pure darkness like me. He told God that if He didn't come in and do something he would walk away forever. God spoke to him and asked how he could trust Him when things were going smooth and not trust Him when he was in the dark. 16 years later, Pastor Dino is the leading pastor of the most amazing church in the world.
I realized then that if I truly believed in my promise would she really want someone struggling with their faith, or someone completely devoted. Also, how can I even think about the other promises I've received about my future and being a missionary if I can't even trust God with love?
I'm completely unemployeed, still heartbroken (slowly getting over it), and now backed up on bills. But, I'm FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!! at piece! I'm where God wants me, and that's all that matters. When I gave my life to God 10 years ago, I promised to give Him everything. I don't care anymore about if I'm going to lose my new car, my home, etc., because I've realized I got these things to begin with BECAUSE of God's mercy and grace. If I have to lose everything in order to show the world God's glory I will. If I have to live a life like Paul, I will.
As for her, I found it a lot easier to stop missing her when I start praying for her and giving her to Him. Sorry girl...I'm forgetting you, like you did to me.
I got a word for David McNabb the other day. He told me about Pastor Dino's word about 16 years ago he was in pure darkness like me. He told God that if He didn't come in and do something he would walk away forever. God spoke to him and asked how he could trust Him when things were going smooth and not trust Him when he was in the dark. 16 years later, Pastor Dino is the leading pastor of the most amazing church in the world.
I realized then that if I truly believed in my promise would she really want someone struggling with their faith, or someone completely devoted. Also, how can I even think about the other promises I've received about my future and being a missionary if I can't even trust God with love?
I'm completely unemployeed, still heartbroken (slowly getting over it), and now backed up on bills. But, I'm FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!! at piece! I'm where God wants me, and that's all that matters. When I gave my life to God 10 years ago, I promised to give Him everything. I don't care anymore about if I'm going to lose my new car, my home, etc., because I've realized I got these things to begin with BECAUSE of God's mercy and grace. If I have to lose everything in order to show the world God's glory I will. If I have to live a life like Paul, I will.
As for her, I found it a lot easier to stop missing her when I start praying for her and giving her to Him. Sorry girl...I'm forgetting you, like you did to me.
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