Warrior of God

Sacrifice & Sin

2011-12-16T15:02:00.006-06:00

The Fall of Sin?

There's this mindset I've noticed sweeping across the nation where the idea of sacrifice is no longer needed in following Christ. This same idea roots from the idea that there's no such thing as sin anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of a sinless world, and one day, in New Jerusalem, we will all get to experience complete freedom of worldly and sinful desires.

It hit me pretty hard when I heard of this 'idea' of when you accept Christ you sin no more. The very first thought that popped into my head was, 'then way in the hell do I still lust after the desires of this world?'. After studying scripture I've come to the conclusion that this 'theology' is very much false, and that we need to guard our hearts when the enemy tries to plant ideas like this in our spirit.

In Paul's writings to the church in Roman, he must of sensed the same ideas were afloat, at least this is what I get from it, because in Romans 7 he writes:

¹ Do you not know, brothers and sisters—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law has authority over someone only as long as that person lives? ² For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. ³ So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man. ⁴ So, my brothers and sisters, you also died to the law through the body of Christ, that you might belong to another, to him who was raised from the dead, in order that we might bear fruit for God. ⁵ For when we were in the realm of the flesh, the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in us, so that we bore fruit for death. ⁶ But now, by dying to what once bound us, we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.

The Law and Sin
⁷ What shall we say, then? Is the law sinful? Certainly not! Nevertheless, I would not have known what sin was had it not been for the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, “You shall not covet." ⁸ But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of coveting. For apart from the law, sin was dead. ⁹ Once I was alive apart from the law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. ¹⁰ I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death. ¹¹ For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. ¹² So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good.
¹³ Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! Nevertheless, in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it used what is good to bring about my death, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful.

¹⁴ We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. ¹⁵ I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ¹⁶ And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. ¹⁸ For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ¹⁹ For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. ²⁰ Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

²¹ So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. ²² For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; ²³ but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. ²⁴ What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? ²⁵ Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!

So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

Clearly, we read Paul stating in verses 15-20 how he struggles (not struggled) with sin. How he does what he doesn't want to do, and that it's the sin dwelling within him that is controlling these actions. He even states in verse 25 that "So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin." He acknowledges the reality that sin is still present in him.

Fortunately, that's not the end. In chapter 8 Paul further writes that when we accept Christ we are "free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit." This is where people can get confused if they just read these verses. Out of context, one would think by reading this that sin is no longer present. But if you read further you see that Paul states we still have our weaknesses and sinful desires. Romans 8:18-27 reads:

¹⁸ I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. ¹⁹ For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed. ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope ²¹ that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the freedom and glory of the children of God.
²² We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. ²³ Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. ²⁴ For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. ²⁶ In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. ²⁷ And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

Why does Jesus need to intercede for us? If we're sinless, why are we suffering? Why does Paul say we wait for the redemption of our bodies? If we're sinless, why does the Spirit need to help us in our weakness?

Paul was very clear that when Christ is invited we are created new, but at the same time, we still have this sinful flesh we battle with. Paul later writes in his letter to the Hebrews, Chapter 12 verses 4-11, that we do struggle against sin. He even admits that God rebukes us:

⁴ In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. ⁵ And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, ⁶ because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” ⁷ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? ⁸ If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. ⁹ Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! ¹⁰ They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

I end with this. When we let the enemy plant thoughts like we don't sin anymore, we tend to forget what Christ did for us on that tree. Jesus was the ultimate sacrifice, but He still calls us to “…If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me.” Luke 9:23. We have to turn from our selfish desires, our sinful flesh, DAILY, and run to Him. Blessings.

Total Control

2011-12-14T00:16:00.000-06:00

These past couple of weeks I've been feeling different. It's hard to describe, but the best I can come up with is numb. Spiritually, I've been growing, not as much as usual, but still growing. Everything else, no motivation. I haven't worked out, Saturday I barely wanted to rock climb, I've been completely unsocial, and work is just boring.

After some heavy praying, I've come up with 2 conclusions to this numbness. Number one, I'm angry. Angry that I hear all of these missionaries just going, and being able to experience the desires of their hearts as missionaries. No, I'm not angry at them, I'm angry at God because He keeps telling me "Not yet". I'm bitter, and I don't know how to give that up. My heart-cry is Taiwan, and I feel so numb in Bakersfield.

Number two, I'm not letting God control every area of my life. I've given control to Him over my finances, my job, and my worldly possesses. But I can't seem to give up control of my time. I haven't been spending the amount of time with God as I use to. I'm not managing my time right. I've been sleeping more, but I'm even more tired. My soul is restless, because it wants time with Abba, and I'm not doing it.

Pray God reignites my passion for His presence, and I stand firm wherever He has placed me, even though it's not where I particularly want to be...

Speaking This Sunday

2011-10-10T23:26:00.001-05:00

This is going to be very brief. I'm speaking this Sunday, October 16, 2011, at Life Journey Church. I'll be speaking from James 1:19-27. It's going to be great. Come to hear God's word :)

Being The Church, Or Playing Church?

2011-09-22T10:33:00.000-05:00

I came across this blog from a friend on Google Plus. When I first started reading it, I got a little angry. This woman was talking about how she wished her husband never started Courageous Church in Atlanta. The further I read, the further my heart sank. The further I recognized what the author was talking about. The further I understood that the 'church' today is so mainstream that if we changed it people would stop coming. Sad....But TRUE. Here is the blog post from Rai King. Read with an open heart, and knowledge of the Word...

....Leaving Courageous Church

The Nazirite (נזיר) Call

2011-08-31T21:09:00.002-05:00

Recently (well, more like the past few days) I've been getting the drive to do more with my walk with God. I feel this urge to stand up and proclaim Him. Not just with words or actions, but by example. For some reason I purchased Lou Engle's "The Call of the Nazirite" DVD from The Call's Website last week. I got it in the mail yesterday. I watched it, and MAN, God was reaching out to me.

So, I've decided to pray that if it's God's will for me I will take the vow of the Nazirite, נזיר. It's a huge vow, one that requires a lot (Numbers 6). John the Baptist was a Nazarite, and many people believe that Jesus took the vow during the 'last supper' and right before he was betrayed.

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to his disciples, saying, “Take it; this is my body.” Then he took a cup, and when he had given thanks, he gave it to them, and they all drank from it. “This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many,” he said to them. “Truly I tell you, I will not drink again from the fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new in the kingdom of God.”
- Mark 14:22-25

I want more out of my walk. I doubt I'm called to take the vow as a lifer, like John the Baptist, but I'm still praying about when, how long, and if I'm even suppose to take the vow at all. Keep me in your prayers. For this is going to be radical, crazy, and AMAZING....

Happily Ever After

2011-08-20T23:50:00.000-05:00

We all have this dream of "happily ever after". A dream where, in the end, our dreams come true, and everything we wanted comes our way. I use to have this dream. A dream of finding the girl, the perfect job, a house, a nice fancy car, and a savings account jealous of any man. Then I met God. He literally destroyed my life. He showed me what He really sought after in life.

These days, I work for one of the biggest oil companies in the world, Chevron, as an IT specialist. Sure, the title sounds fancy, and the money is nice, but I'm not where HE designed me to be in the long haul. I look at my life and I wonder. My passion is missions in Asia, where the orphan scene thrives. And here I am, working for a multi-trillion dollar organization as one of their thousands of IT people. Where I am? Honestly, I'm not lost. I'm right where HE wants me. I'm paying off my student loans, and He's preparing me for that life as a missionary. I'm not passionate about my job. Heck, I hate Mondays, but I thank Him for these days. The days of preparation. I will be prepared for my mission in life....will you? Will you?????

Times of Struggle = Times of Trust

2011-08-16T13:08:00.000-05:00

Well, the past few weeks have been a struggle for me. Not only spiritually, but financially and everything in between. Driving back from Seqouia Sunday night I was talking with God and I realized some things. I hate my job, Bakersfield, and my passions are not being fulfilled. I was driving away from something I loved, the outdoors with camping, hiking & flyfishing, and driving towards a life I sometimes feel is meaningless right now. I realized I was frustrated with life, and not being where I wanted to be. I started telling Abba about how it wasn't fair that all of my missionary friends were in the mission fields, and I'm 'stuck' in a town I can't stand.

I remember exactly what I said to God.

Why do I have to be in this stupid town, in this stupid preparation time that is lasting years, while all of my friend's prep times were short, and they were exactly where they wanted to be?

God was silent for only a second. He then started putting men of the bible in my thoughts that had to wait YEARS before they even started their ministry. David had to wait at least 13 years from the time he was told he was going to be Israel's king as a young man until he was crowded. Moses was 80 when he started his mission of leading the Israelites out of Egypt. Even Jesus waited until he was 30 before he started his ministry. God reminded me that with a great calling, there's a great preparation time.

When I got home Sunday the brakes on the Limiero's car were squeaking, and the MP3 tape device got stuck in the tape player. I took the player apart and removed the tape, but the tape function doesn't work any more. Yesterday I lost my personal keys at work. I couldn't remember where I had them last. I had traveled all over San Joaquin valley for work. I ended up traveling back to Midway and Kern River, but still couldn't find them. On my drive back from Midway at 9pm I got so angry with myself. My past was full of drug and alcohol use, and my memory suffered from it. I tend to forget the small things, nothing important.

I hated myself so much for losing my keys and not being able to remember the last time I had them. It's quite frustrating indeed. I've been praying for years for God to restore my memory, but it hasn't happened yet. I forced myself to abandon that hatred last night and I just let it go to God. Peace fell over, and I just stopped stressing over my keys. Jonathan is out of time, and therefore I had no way into my apartment, and I had to leave the Limiero's car in the Chevron HQ parking lot. I drove my work vehicle home, and was able to get a hold of my landlord and she gave me a spare key to get into the apartment. This morning I emailed a person at Midway to see if they found my keys, and sure enough, she had them on her desk.

The chapter I'm in right now has been a struggle on many battle fronts. I've learned that if I just TRUST God I will never fall. Pslams 37 is a good reminder of how the righteous will never be forgotten by God. He's teaching me trust, and I'm hardheaded, so this may take some time :P

In Moderation

2011-08-09T22:54:00.009-05:00

Recently, I've been spending a lot of time on Facebook, and not even realizing it. I had the social networking app on my phone, with text messages coming to my phone whenever close friends posted anything on Facebook. I had it bookmarked on my Mac, and my Firefox history was screaming Facebook all over it. I was even spending time on it at work!

Today, God confronted me about this social media addiction. Sure, Facebook, like most other things is great in moderation, but I was straight up addicted. I had to walk away, at least for some time. So, as of today, I deleted my Facebook account. It may sound silly, but it's going to be tough for the first few weeks to not wake up and check Facebook on my mobile first thing. I'm giving it at try, and hopefully this will motivate me to spend more time with my Father, and less time commenting on a post about what my friend ate for lunch.

Don't worry, friends & family. I'm not going through some weird depression of acceptance or anything like that. I'm doing good, and I want to be great by spending more time with God, my Abba. First was getting rid of cable TV. Now, its my addiction to Facebook. Pray I stay strong :)

Blessings...

For Those Looking For My Message

2011-08-04T16:25:00.004-05:00

If you're having difficulty downloading the message I did at Life Journey Christian Church, go to my MediaFire link by clicking on the button below. Sorry for the issue. It's a 90MB file, so be a little patient when downloading it :) Blessings. FYI...This is the raw version. This means that there is no editing of the audio. Sorry if it gets too loud, quite, or other issues with it.

Mission of Mine

2011-07-31T17:57:00.006-05:00

My church, Life Journey Christian Church, just finished a series called "Mission of Mine". The whole series focused not only on the missionaries/organizations that LJCC sponsors, but also on how the church family in a whole is in their own missionary mission. Halfway through the series, I was approached by my pastor, David Limiero, to see if I was willing to teach.

At first, honestly, I was shocked. I never thought I would be asked to speak at my own church. I told David I would pray about it. Maybe a few minutes later I told David "Yes". I spoke about my testimony, my missionary works, and the vision for my missionary future. I spoke at both services on 6/26/2011 at 8:30am & 10:30am. I've spoken at countless churches, mostly in India and Taiwan. This was first time I was completely exhausted afterwards.

Below is the iTunes link to my church's podcast. There, you can download our weekly services for FREE. If you'd like to download my podcast, the title is "Mission Of Mine: Chris Joy", and the date is 6/25/11.

New Chapter Ahead

2011-07-27T15:06:00.003-05:00

For the past year it has felt like I've been in a constant single chapter of my life. In many ways it has. Usually, at least for me, chapters didn't last more than a few months. Spending time in Sequoia this past weekend, in the presence of God's beauty, I found out a few things about the next upcoming chapter of this book I call life.

First, God is pulling some major junk out I had somehow pushed deep into the back of my heart. I got reminded that I still struggle with acceptance. I have this very real fear of never getting married, simply because I have let the enemy implant the thought of unworthiness in my mind. Because of my past, I really struggle with the idea of being a father and husband. I got the opportunity to spend time with my pastor and his wife about this fear, and really brought clarity to my eyes. Thanks guys.

Second, I really want to spend more time in nature. Whether it be rock climbing, camping, hiking, kayaking, or snowboarding. Because I've been working out some much these past few months, I have more stamina, and I can now do things I never thought I could before.

Finally, I need to learn more discipline in my walk with Christ. I tend to focus more on the struggles/stress of the day, rather than giving it all the God. I'm far better at controlling my stress and emotions than ever before, but I still need to work on it. Fortunately, I have great friends, and an amazing church to help. They not only show me where I need growth, but they always show love through it all. Definitely blessed.

Theresa Dehnert: Mom, Hero, Forgiven

2011-07-18T23:13:00.012-05:00

Like everyone in this world, old, young, Asian, European, American, African, etc, I have a hero. But what many may not know is that hero of mine is my mother. Strange, maybe. Impossible, absolutely not. You see, my mom always wanted the best for me. She knew where I would end up if she wouldn't have given me up for adoption. She could see my future. Deep down she knew I would grow up to be the man I am today. God fearing, passionate, loving, and crazy for Christ. That is why she is my hero.

My mom had to fight for her life, because she herself was an orphan. She grew up in a good home, but always seemed to be the black sheep of the family, and therefore she was rebellious. She wanted to be loved. Even though she grew up Catholic, she never experienced God's love, because religion was masking Him.

Around the time I came to Christ, when I was at the bottom of my well, I needed to forgive my mother, or I would of never known what true forgiveness was. It was tough. I hated her for leaving me, and for all the junk she made me go through. But I eventually learned to forgive her. Not only did I forgive her, but I forgot all the negative things. It was hard for her to forgive herself for giving me up, but through God's wisdom, love, and mercy, she learned.

I still remember that summer night back in 2005, sitting in my car in a movie theater parking lot, friends waiting for me inside. I decided to call my mom, and see how she was doing. The second she picked up the phone, the Holy Spirit swept over me and told me to pray for her. I asked her if she was OK, and she told me about the issues she was having. I don't quite remember what else we talked about, but I do remember telling her for the first time in several years that I loved her. I told her that I forgave her for everything, and I meant it. That night she came to Christ, led by the least likely of people, me.

She still struggles with many things, like us all. And I'm sure she still thinks about that time she promised to be right back and didn't return. But now she knows that God's love destroys the sins of our past, and that I do love her with all of my heart. She fights for our Father is heaven and loves her children & grandchildren with all her heart....

....and that is why she is my hero. I love you mom.

Hands - Give Me Rest

2011-07-06T23:21:00.004-05:00

It's been a while since I posted on my blog. Mostly for being busy and/or lazy. Not too often do we Christians that love Metal\Hardcore\Screamo get blessed by a band with pure raw talent with their instruments, vocals, and lyrics. Hands has stepped it up, and brought the Spirit of God on all 3 levels. Here are the lyrics for their newest album "Give Me Rest", which was just released yesterday, July 5, 2011. Enjoy, I know I did :)

Hands - Give Me Rest (Lyrics)

1. I Will
2. Water
3. Cube
4. The Helix
5. Here I Am
6. Jovian
7. Northern Lights
8. 2005
9. Restart
10. Give Me Rest

1.) I Will

Can you feel the anger in my heart? I can't believe this is me. I built my house on shaking ground, and lit a match to watch it burn. Set me free. Rest my soul in you alone. Rise, from the quiet I will rise. Take my hand. Give me the faith to move mountains. Give me the strength to rebuild. Help me become a better man. Help me to understand your will. Let it rain. To remind me that there is something more.

2.) Water

Forgive me for falling out, it's just not the way I see you. Take me to the water. Let there be light! To reveal everything we've become. Take me to the water. I'm losing my faith at the hands of the dynasty. Take me to the water. I just want something real. From the shore, with the sea to my back. I can see a wasteland of blasphemy. Spoiled fruit, reaped from crooked trees. God, are these your seeds? Are these your branches? I'm so disgusted with all of this. I want to recover. Be still my brother. Be still so we may hear His voice. Let there be light. Take me to the water.

3.) Cube

Shut down everything inside that makes it work. All the wires to it's soul, and all the lights that make it glow. Kill the system. I don't want it anymore. Drag me through the fire. It helps keep me awake. The bulbs are blinking, the statics piercing. But it's hard to look away. Let's hit the ground. God damn this place. It's taken everything. Shut it down. Send your best to guard my soul. They will never sleep. They will never leave me alone. Somebody throw the switch, shut it down.

4.) The Helix

I am not alone. Would you clear the dust from my eyes? Would you recognize my voice if I would talk to you? Oh, I feel so tired. So wake me up. I believe your hands hold the sun. But in the deepest of my mind, I question everything you've done. Give me rest. I believe your breath fills my lungs. But it's a thought that's hard to swallow, I feel ashamed I can't hold on. Give me rest. I will take your hand. Just lead me through the dark. I will take your hand. Don't ever let me go. "Be still and know that I am God."

5.) Here I Am

On my knees in the wreckage of a broken church. I couldn't pull it together. How I want to believe that there's a light, at the end of this continuous shadow. And as the feeling disappears, here I am. Are you here? Wake up my son. Wake up my son. Why are you so afraid? Oh God, I'm begging you now! Open up my eyes!

6.) Jovian

Welcome. Light. Come into the light and meet the world. You are beautiful, open your eyes. Open up your eyes to see me here. I will show you the way. I will always be here. In your every hour, in your heart I'll stay. Take rest at the sound of my voice, I'm forever changed. Welcome. Breathe in the breath of life. I've embraced you. In my arms you'll never be alone. I've embraced you. Everything that I am, I give to you. You are all I wanted. You are all I need.

7.) Northern Lights

I found you. And you found me. You gave me a new song. You gave me something to sing. What a beautiful song. You gave me a reason, you gave me something to sing.

8. 2005

Burn this body down. To the ash and the dust, from which it came. I curse within my heart, but sing a holy song. I am a wolf among the sheep. I am calling out your name. I am broken at your feet. Release. Release me. I am bound by the chains of temptation. I am bound by the demons, staring back. Let your mercy rain upon us. Take hold of my soul and put this body in the earth. By your blood I am alive. By your grace I am released.

9.) Restart

I can feel my heart giving in to the weight of your design. And like a remedy your fixing me, while the world has left me blind. I sang for you, and meant what I said. But it's still hard to believe. I was burning my wick at both ends, but no light could be seen. I get frustrated. But I just need to let go. Lift me up (into your arms) and weigh me down. Reach straight into my heart. I've been holding on so long, but I just need to let go.I carried torches from east to west, and watched the flames burn themselves out. Fighting every battle, never trusting that you were on my side. I will fall into your arms and cry, you are God! Lift us up and hear our cry, you are God!

10.) Give Me Rest

Here I sit among the clouds. With nothing but the empty sound. I have seen the light of day. I have seen the water wash the blood away. Is my name in there?Send a smile to my daughter. Tell her everything is fine. And give my wisdom to my brother. Tell him to use it right. And to everyone I've wronged, the thought has never left my mind. You are the end and I am fading. Will I rest with you for all of time? Is my name in there?Give me rest. Tell my wife I adore her. That she is beautiful and kind. Here I sit among the clouds. I was wrong and You were right. Give me rest.

I'm Sorry I'm A Christian

2010-03-27T16:36:00.005-05:00

Outside of the two F bombs that he dropped. What are your thoughts? This hit me hard about how the world views me, and how I truly walk this walk as a christian. He says it all to break these stereotypical thoughts of christians, and sadly, true motives/lives/actions of christians today. Do you fit the bill of a characteristic he said...do you?

In Search of Homeless

2009-12-30T07:04:00.006-06:00

These past couple of weeks have definitely been something of interest in my life. I've been doing a lot of volunteer work over at my church's, Healing Place Church, inner-city campus/outreach building, Baton Rouge Dream Center. Even though there hasn't been a set standard on a certain type of area I've been serving in, I've found myself really hitting ground with homeless outreach. The passion I've always had towards serving people has found a place to serve a true purpose in people that seem to be hurting so much. I decided 3 weeks back to volunteer my time helping Charity Trahan, the main person that does all homeless outreaches in Baton Rouge.

Because of the holidays, and a limit list of volunteers, Charity was planning on shutting down our homeless hot-line number for the two weeks she was taking off for a WELL DESERVED vacation on her part. I decided to step up and man the hot-line personally, 24/7, and can I say, it's been one blessing after another. I'm not saying it's been facile. Getting a call in the middle of the night from a woman who just got out of the hospital looking for help because she has nothing to feed her 5 children is heartbreaking. Recently, the 'wonderful' Obama campaign has decided to decrease the funding on homeless housing, and I've been hit hard by the reality of Louisiana being the #1 state in the nation for homeless/runaway youth. Oh the pain of getting a call from a mother of 3 saying she just got evicted for not being able to pay the bills because of the economy, and having to tell her all the shelters are brimming...

Since I decided to dive headfirst into the campaign I've seen little light on the horizon for getting these people off the street, a warm meal put in their bellies, and see hope in their disconsolate and fatigued eyes. But under the surface God is definitely working everything out. The past 8 or so months the North Blvd overpass in downtown Baton Rouge has turned into a haven for a measurable amount of homeless people. My church's outreach group, NoPlace Outreach, has been working hard with these people for several years, and about a month ago news hit several other organizations about the living conditions of these beautiful people. Then God sent a man, Donald Mallet, to the overpass to bring the Word and order. Food, winter clothes, blankets, toiletries, mattresses, etc., started coming in bountifully, especially from a Godly woman by the name of Alice Lewis. Then, almost out of nowhere, a man by the name of Kody M. Higginbotham, MBA, with Sacred Hope Foundation, Inc. brought a vision and hope for these people. He opened up a new shelter, Sacred Hope 24/7 Shelter.

During these past 2 weeks since that shelter opened, I've seen people come and people go. There's structure, rules, regulations, and a real Godly foundation there. I've had the distinction of getting calls on the hot-line number, and actually being able to tell the people I know a shelter that's NOT hanging the notorious "No Vacancy" sign. Sunday night I get a call from 2 homeless men looking for a warm place to stay. I was able to tell them I had somewhere for them to lay their head, get a shower, a fresh pair of clothes, and a hot meal. So, I called up Mark McLaughlin, my marvelous roommate, and headed out to College and Corporate to pick up these men. Mark and I brought these guys to the shelter, and in an instant, their eyes lit up. Remember me mentioning Donald Mallet earlier? Well, he's running this shelter! He didn't have any more hot food from dinner, so he asked Mark and me to drive him to another person's house I mentioned earlier, Alice Lewis, on South Washington in downtown Baton Rouge.

She welcomed us into her prepossessing home with a big smile and a warm hug. Instantly I could tell she had the Spirit dwelling within her and her home. She had made a giant pot of chicken and corn stew, and another large pot of hot rice. She walked Mark and me around, sharing her desire to help people, tell us about the 2 books she has written, By Hands of Strangers and Go Ask Alice, and show off the beautiful children she rescued from horrid living conditions. She told us about these 2 sisters she adopted, Alisha & Kiara Lewis. These girls, when they were every young, had to endure things I never thought possible. Their biological mother had left her husband for another woman. This new 'girlfriend' made her tie up her 2 daughters under their trailer with threats of leaving her if she didn't. These 2 girls lived under the trailer for several months, and because there was no human interaction, they didn't learn how to speak, had no teeth, and very little hair. They were finally found by a social worker and put into the system. Ms. Alice heard their story and instantly adopted them. The girls are now ages 14 and 15, absolutely beautiful, and highly intelligent. One attends high school and Baton Rouge Community College, and they other also attends high school and LSU. Ms. Lewis has a total of 9 adopted children, all of which are successful or learning to become successful. We left her house, hot food in our arms, and a peace and hope to bring to the shelter.

We all have our stories, I for one was once homeless as well. I know the desolation of not knowing where the next meal was going to come from. I know the eyes of people around me silently judging me. It grieves me to see other people go through it. I'm following my calling to serve the people. If you would like to help Charity Trahan and her outreach, or just want to befriend some beautiful homeless people and visit Sacred Hope Shelter, or Ms. Alice Lewis, please contact me. We always need help, from volunteer work, to food, clothing, and air mattresses for Sacred Hope Shelter. Or if you know ANYONE that's homeless, young or old, PLEASE CONTACT our hot-line number at 225-505-5416...

MyStory Part 3 (Written By Carole Turner)

2009-11-07T17:58:00.002-06:00

In 2005 he started drinking heavy. He tried attending church at the invitation of his neighbors but he still felt alone. He went to church service weekly for six months and no one ever talked to him. He felt invisible. So he stopped going and started drinking heavy again.

On his birthday, Christmas Eve 2005, he was drinking and driving and passed out while on the highway. He woke up in a ditch, drunk, hurt and police preparing to take him to jail. While sitting at the police station on Christmas Eve, waiting to be booked and processed, Chris broke down. Why was he always ending up back here? How did things get so messed up again? Why couldn’t he stay away from drugs and alcohol? In his tears and cries for help, he heard God speak to him about his life. God met him there, comforted him and spoke peace, mercy and forgiveness into his heart. Chris spent Christmas and New Years in jail, all together 10 days. After he was released he immediately went into detox and from there moved into Fellowship Ministries Church, in Hammond, Louisiana, which was a home for addicts trying to break free from their addictions. Over the three months he was there, God did a work in his heart. He helped him deal with all his pain, his addictions and showed him his future working with Orphans and reaching the nations. Finally Chris knew he had been delivered and set free from his addictions.

After he left Fellowship Ministries he went back to Baton Rouge but he had no place to live. He went to a Thursday night meeting for college and young professionals, Late Nite, at the church he had attended in Baton Rouge before going to jail, Healing Place Church. At the end of the service, he went to the alter to be prayed for and the man who prayed with him at the alter, Chris McDonald, also helped him find a place to live that night. He soon got a great job, met a beautiful girl and started dating her, made new friends, enrolled in ministry school and really felt like life had taken a strong turn in the right direction. But the relationship ended and it broke Chris’ heart. He again sought to blame someone, this time it was the church and God. But Chris knew that following this train of thought would only lead to more hurt and pain so he sought out a mentor. He started spending time with the McNabb family who helped him through this difficult time. He also started getting professional counseling again and God saw him through this painful break up.

In 2007 he knew it was time to contact his biological mother. He had to tell her that he forgave her. He knew that THIS was part of his healing. When he finally found her he discovered that she was addicted to prescription drugs. The life she had left him for, all the work, had taken its toll on her and now she was seeking comfort in pain killers. Chris told his mother that he forgave her for everything. He even thanked his mother for putting him up for adoption. He told her that if she hadn’t he would not have come to know Christ. Everything from being adopted by Wayne and Sarah, who introduced him to Christ, to being friends with Nathan who showed him there was life in Christ, to being roommates with Paul who helped him grow in Christ. All of it was working together for the good and he wanted her to know that.

From the forgiveness Chris showed his mother came a well of emotions and healing for both mother and son. Chris told his mother how Jesus had changed his life and she saw it by the action of forgiveness and grace that Chris extended to her. One night while Chris and his mother were talking on the phone, Chris led his mother to the Lord and they prayed together. She was the first person he had ever led to Jesus. Now they talk regularly, study the bible together and pray together.

The seeds of love that David and Lisa planted in Chris’ life when he was 12 showed him that family was possible. The friendships of Nathan and Paul gave him a safe place to fall and be himself, and the family and stability given to him by Wayne and Sarah grew into true heart knowledge that God the Father loved him. Chris now knew that no matter how many times he fell, God would be there with grace, mercy and love to pick him up. He saw the miracle of forgiveness and mercy in the relationship with his mother and everyday he was seeing more and more that our wonderful heavenly Father has adopted all of us into his family.

Chris is now 27 years old, and he is still very much a work in progress, like we all are. God has given Chris a wonderful story of victory over adversity, beauty from pain and strength from brokenness. Chris’ story shows the wonderful healing forgiveness and mercy can bring. It also shows how adoption can change a child’s life, no matter what age they are adopted; it is never too late to make a lasting impact on a child.
Chris has been on both short and long term mission trips to The Dominican Republic, Taiwan, Hong Kong, India and Japan. He is currently serving at the Baton Rouge Dream Center, which is an inner-city outreach of Healing Place Church. He still has a strong call to the mission field, particularly Asia.

If you would like to support Chris, check out his web site, http://www.chrisnickjoy.com

Carole Turner
http://Thewardrobeandthewhitetree.com
carolesturner@yahoo.com

MyStory Part 2 (Written By Carole Turner)

2009-11-06T21:12:00.004-06:00

Wayne and Sarah had never been able to have children. They had a big farm, a great life but longed to have a family. Their faith in God and their belief that God calls Christians to care for Orphans led them to seek a child through the foster care system. That is where they found Chris. They started foster parenting him and before long they officially adopted him.

Before coming to live with Wayne and Sarah, Chris had very little knowledge of the love of God. His biological family had been strict Catholics but there was no relationship with Jesus in the practice of their religion. It was all about rituals, rules and regulations at their church in particular. Now that he was with his new parents, he began to understand what it meant to be loved by his father in Heaven. He started attending the Baptist church with them, where he was told about having a relationship with Jesus. He also met Nathan at church. Nathan was the son of the lead pastor of the Baptist Church on the Indian reservation. Nathan and Chris became fast friends. They did everything together. They both loved to play football, go biking, run, go wakeboarding and camping. Nathan loved God and Chris saw the light of Jesus in him. Nathan was positive peer pressure for Chris and now Chris was happy. He had a great new family and a best friend. Life was good.

But sadly for Chris, Nathan’s father was transferred to another church and Nathan had to move away. Chris was devastated again. He had lost that special friend that didn’t think he was weird, liked all the same things, loved God and completely loved and accepted Chris. With out Nathan by his side at school, Chris felt lost and confused. He wanted another best friend but all he found were the “bad” kids at school. He soon started smoking pot and getting into trouble and life quickly went down hill.

By the time Chris was 18 he had quit high school, moved out of his new parents house and in with his biological cousin. Living with his drug addicted cousin and friends only worsened Chris’s spiral out of control. He started doing heavy drugs, stealing cars and selling them to chop shops, breaking and entering and all kinds of illegal activity. Life was bad and was getting worse, now he also had people wanting to kill him for bad deals he had made.

The car stealing finally caught up with him and he was arrested and spent two months in jail. His aunt bailed him out and he decided he was going to get his life straight. Jail had scared him. His aunt helped him graduate from High School with honors, and enrolled him in Community College and quickly had a 4.0 grade point average. By some miracle of God, his car theft charges were dropped and he was accepted into Old Dominion University. Things were looking up again for Chris. He finished his first year of college with a 3.8 GPA.

But the call of the wild was too strong to resist for long and soon Chris was back smoking pot and hanging out with Surfers who had no interest in school. Chris’s GPA dropped to a 1.2 and he found himself on probation. Then his girlfriend broke up with him for his roommate so now he was without a girlfriend and a roommate. Then he met Paul. Paul was a cool surfer dude. He was also a Jesus follower. He was hyper, outgoing, fun and very involved in the college Christian group, Varsity. And he was now Chris’ roommate. He invited Chris to a Varsity church service and Chris committed his life to God there. He had seen in Paul a real picture of Jesus. Paul didn’t preach at Chris, he befriended Chris. They would talk about Jesus, about their lives and struggles. Over time Chris started to see that he had blamed God for all the bad that had happened to him. He realized he had to completely surrender his live to Jesus and follow Him with his entire heart. In the fall of 2003 this all came to a head one night, Chris broke down and cried out to the lord. He let go of all of it, placed it at the feet of Jesus and before long he felt the call to the mission field on his life and went on a short term mission’s trip to China. Chris felt he had found his calling in life.

When Chris returned from China he reconnected with his former step father. Chris decided to move to Baton Rouge Louisiana with his step father so he could help him take care of his mentally impaired younger brother. The baby brother he had loved and lost when he was a small child. But being away from a strong Christian environment caused Chris to once again lose faith.

MyStory Part 1 (Written By Carole Turner)

2009-11-05T19:19:00.010-06:00

Chris was only twelve years old when he tried to kill himself by cutting his wrists. Life was just too heavy a load to carry. His single mother worked all the time, she had three jobs. She was never at home, but his older, mentally impaired sister needed to be cared for so that job fell on Chris. There was no father; he had left when Chris was a baby. There had briefly been a violent step father for a couple years when Chris was younger, but one day he abruptly left and took Chris’s baby brother. So now Chris was left to take care of the house and his sister while his mother worked all day and all night. Chris also worked hard making good grades. There was no going outside to play, not in the neighborhood they lived in, and there was only work inside or sitting in front of the TV. When you are a child that has already had a life time of responsibilities and you are neglected by your only parent, it just becomes too much to bare and that is why at age 12, death looked better to Chris then living this life.

After his suicide attempt he was sent to a mental facility and in Chris’s mind, it was actually pretty decent there. Finally he was getting some nice, calm, positive attention, what he had always hungered for at home but never got. While at the mental hospital he started feeling better about living. The medication they gave him helped too.

After Chris came home his mom went to counseling, stayed home more with Chris and his sister and even enrolled Chris in the Big Brother program. But it was all short lived. She quickly went back to working three jobs, the “Big brother” quit and Chris went back to being stuck in side watching TV, cleaning, doing homework and being the care giver to his sister and his mom. In his heart he was bursting with frustration and a need for positive attention. He would settle for any attention and any outlet for his pain. So at thirteen he started doing drugs, drinking and fighting.

An appointment was set for Chris and his mother with a state appointed Social worker. When they arrived at the appointment, Chris sat down in the counselor’s office, his mother said she needed to go to the restroom and would be right back. She walked out of the office and never returned. The counselor eventually called her and she told him she could not parent Chris anymore. She wanted the state to take him. She gave Chris up for adoption that day. He was 13 years old.

Chris immediately went into foster care and was placed in the home of a wonderful couple, David and Lisa. They had no other children and to them, Chris was a dream come true. He was finally getting positive attention. He was receiving regular counseling, His grades were great, He played sports and David was at every practice and game. Chris finally felt like he was in a real family and he was flourishing.

Sadly this dream was not to last. After only 10 months with David and Lisa the state informed them that Chris’s biological father wanted Chris to come live with him so they were sending him to his father in Florida. Chris was devastated. So were David and Lisa. Chris had wanted to stay with David and Lisa forever. He loved them, they loved him but now he was being forced to go live with a father who was a stranger. On arrival in Florida, Chris discovered that his father was an alcoholic. He immediately started running away, stealing, and doing anything he could to get away from this new environment. His father had no idea how to deal with this wild teenage boy of his. He placed Chris in a horrible detention center for juvenile criminals for two weeks but even that didn’t detour his behavior. After only a couple months, his father conceded and sent him back to state care in Virginia.

At this time Chris was 14 years old. He was lost in grief, loneliness, anger, depression and complete despair. But hope was on it’s way...

In The Dominican Republic

2009-09-17T16:33:00.003-05:00

So, I arrived in the Dominican Republic yesterday at 5pm. My first reaction, beautiful. Then I looked around and I saw a group of people called Haitians (from Haiti). These people are very dark, basically Negros, and I asked Jessica who they were. She told they are pretty much the kind of Hispanics back in the States. They are treated less than dogs, and do the work nobody else wants to do (construction for 18 hours a day for very little pay). My heart broke. These people are poor, hungry, hurting, neglected, hated, scrutinized, classified as animals, and thirsty for the Spirit (even though they don't appear to be).

During my prayer time last night God spoke to me and told me these are the people He wants me to reach out to. I got a little worried. You see, I don't notice anybody else worried about these people. How am I going to reach people when I can't speak French Creole, or Spanish very well for that matter? Then I looked back to the Apostle Paul, and all the people he reached from all over Europe, Middle East, Africa, etc., and realized he was in the same situation. He reached out to the people nobody else wanted to, and with many barriers. But he didn't let these situations hold him back.

I'm going to try and find an English speaking Haitian (or a Spanish speaking one with the help of Jessica), and just befriend him/her. These people don't have friends, or even people that slightly care for them. I will...It's my purpose in this new chapter as a missionary, and I will tell them about Christ Jesus...I will.....

Talmidim [The Servants]

2009-08-20T23:45:00.006-05:00

My prayer/worship (For Today - Talmidim [The Servants])

Lord of glory, make us worthy to possess your name. Lord of glory, make us worthy to possess your name. And give us a new name. And call us your people, God. And give us a new name.

Ezekiel 36:26-28 – “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. You will live in the land I gave to your forefathers; you will be my people and I will be your God.”

And through all of this, there is nothing, absolutely nothing. No fear, no insecurity, no doubt, no hesitation, that will ever ever stop us, because we are the sons and daughters of the Living God. Because we are the children of the Almighty. Because we are the residents of the Kingdom of Heaven. And we are soldiers, and an army of the Immortal. And when we speak life, life happens. And when we speak healing, healing happens. And when we speak truth, truth happens. And when we go and take what we have found to a dead world, we will see it come to life again. And when we take what we have found to a hopeless world, we will see hope come back. We'll see the heart of our world start beating again, and we'll see the color come back to people's faces. And there's absolutely nothing that can stop us. Mountains will move before us, and oceans will part before us, and the dead will raise before us. And the world will know that our God is the God that heals, and our God is the God that lives, and our God is the God that loves unlike anything anyone has ever felt before. Because we are fearless, because we are His hands, and because we are His feet...Forever and Ever!!

2009-08-14T19:55:00.003-05:00

re⋅jec⋅tion [ri-jek-shuhn]

–noun
1. the act or process of rejecting.
2. the state of being rejected.
3. something that is rejected.

Rejection is something we all deal with. From our first boyfriend/girlfriend, to the dog growling at us and not our sister/brother. For me, rejection runs deep. I grew up in a broken home, full of depression. My father left me when I was one year old (because I was a 'mistake' and he wanted nothing to do with me), and my mother had to raise my sister and I alone. I don't want to spend this blog talking about my life story, but I do want people to understand that I have lived rejection. I was rejected first by my father, and then my mother rejected me by giving me up to the Foster Care system when I was 12 years of age.

I forgave my mother (we have an amazing relationship now) fully about four years ago, but the emotion of ejection still runs in the back of my mind. It took me a long time to realize that God is not about rejection. A question I always wondered about is, 'If God is neither male nor female, why does He portray Himself as a father, or a groom?'.

You see, like myself, many people have felt rejection from their father. God portrays Himself as Father because He wants the world to trust Him. He's not like my father, or yours perhaps. Scriptural speaking, God has shown Himself true. Hebrews 13:5, Deuteronomy 31:6, 8, and Joshua 1:5 are all amazing examples of the infamous "I will never leave you not forsake you.".

In the end, rejection is a tough cat to part ways with. It's a cancer lurking deep within, but God is greater than that. He will never reject you.

2009-08-08T21:29:00.004-05:00

As an independent missionary it's hard to get people to understand my passion to reach the lost. I'm not affiliated with any church group, organization, or other ministry. As a result of this, my supports are limited to people willing to sponsor me without any tax deductions. Currently, I'm working on creating my own nonprofit ministry, known as 'Pray Asia Ministries'. My heart is for Asia, and I long to have the world know about that.

I'm in the process of making my way to the Dominican Republic as a teacher at a private school. I know it isn't Asia, but it's what I feel like God has on my agenda for the current season in my life. It hard, in the sense of Taiwan being on my heart, but I know God's plans are much more amazing than anything i could possible imagine. Pray I continue to seek God, and my passion for Asia doesn't 'go south for the winter'...

If It Wasn't For You (P.O.D.)

2009-04-26T10:01:00.001-05:00

I know this is an older song by P.O.D., but it's one of their best.

LYRICS:

Do I believe in the resurrection of CHRIST?
And did HIS death bring forth new life?
And did HE raise up and bring back Lazarus from the grave?
And is there supposed to be a second coming?
Am I wrong because I’m wondering
why the fallen Babylon is up and alive today.
And do I really believe in the mark of the beast?
Cause he's still dwelling up in my streets,
Strapped and ready to fight this war.
And he's got more guns than you and me.
But most people don't wanna believe,
That they still prejudice simply because we poor.
Do I believe that Mother Teresa was a angel on this earth?
And thou shall love thy neighbor even if he acts like you?
Do I believe in Heaven or Hell?
Shoot, hell yeah I do, cause we alive today,
And my crew is living proof.

If It Wasn't For You
None of this would ever mean a thing
If It Wasn't For You
Tell me why else would I believe?
Would I believe?

Do I believe that the rider of the white horse,
Is coming back for the righteous?
And the morning star keeps gettin brighter every day.
Is there such a thing as good and evil?
Still division amongst the people,
And we're not all created equal just because you say.
Do I believe in the trinity, and will I live eternally?
Even though I'm not quite the saint that you claim to be.
Did Dr. Martin Luther have a dream?
Was Haile Selassie I a king?
And is it ok to sometimes feel a little bit confused?
Will armageddon never come?
I'm not perfect, just forgiven.
And I might just push back the next time you shove.
Do I believe in one God, one aim and destiny?
Just don't forget your first love,
That's what my moms use to tell me.

If It Wasn't For You
None of this would ever mean a thing
If It Wasn't For You
Tell me why else would I believe?
Would I believe?

If It Wasn't For You
Then none of this is for nothing
It's all for nothing!

2009-02-28T11:20:00.004-06:00

Back in August 2008 I decided to follow the will of God and move to Taiwan for 6 months. In Taiwan God led me to a bible university sort of school through YWAM (Youth With A Mission) called Discipleship Training School (DTS). In this school I not only learned how to be a missionary, but to rely on God with both the small and immense things. In this school I learned about God’s character, His love for us all, and the right way to go about gaining theology.

The first 3 months of this school was called the lecture phase. This phase was 11 weeks longs, where different teachers from all over the world came in and shared on a different topic. We also did outreach at elementary schools, retirement homes, universities, and coffee bar ministry. The topics consisted of, chronological order:

1. Hearing The Voice of God (Don Gillman; Taiwan YWAM Base Director)
2. Evangelism (Brent Wildeson; DTS Leader)
3. The Character of God (April & Michael Stevens; Taiwan SBS Leaders)
4. Spiritual Warfare (Ron & Judy Smith; Montana Base Leaders)
5. Evangelism, Meditation, Prayer, Proverbs On Money, and Sleep (Ron & Judy Smith; Kona, HI Base Leaders)
6. Relationships (Dan & Bee Myers; Taiwan SBS Leaders)
7. Biblical World View (Athena Gee & Michael Brown; Taiwan SBS Leaders)
8. Grace & Holiness (Scott Contival; Taiwan SBS Director)
9. Biblical Overview & The Holy Spirit of God (Athena Gee & Debi Yu; Taiwan SBS Leaders)
10. Mercy Ministries (Cary & Kim Gear; YWAM Leaders)
11. Missions (Garth Gustafson; Battambang, Cambodia Base Director)

The second part of DTS is the outreach phase. This year we went to Maharashtra, India. Unfortunately, at the time it seemed this way, my visa wasn’t in yet, so the rest of the team left, and I stayed in Taiwan. The whole week I was there I tried to figure out why God allowed this. On that Wednesday I sat in on SOFM (School of Frontier Missions) and was able to hear about finances, and how to go about not only gaining financial support as a full-time missionary, but how to develop friendships that will last a lifetime. I liked the speaker so much that I sat in on the class that Thursday AND Friday.

In India we did many things, from challenging house churches to grow spiritually, to helping plant churches and keep them going strong. We encouraged so many people in this country, and it was a blessing to be there, and be able to reach out to such a hurting and lost group of beautiful people.

Now I’m back in the good old USA. When I first arrived two weeks ago, February 16, I felt so lost. God wasn’t speaking, and I had no idea what He wanted me to do until my return to Taiwan as a full-time missionary began. I’m still not sure what He wants me to do, but now I have peace in knowing that I’m here simply because He has a reason.
My plans are to return to Taiwan this summer, study the Chinese language for 2 years full-time, staff DTS for 2 years, and eventually open a new YWAM base in Kenting, Taiwan.

I know that no matter what God will provide. He’s proven that time and time again in my life. My calling as a missionary is something I know will help expand God’s Kingdom. I long to reach the people of Taiwan, and possible Mainland China one day, but I can’t do it without God. If you feel like God is telling you to help me spiritually then please contact me. If you feel like God is telling you to support me financial then please contact me as well, or go to my website at ChrisNickJoy and go to the Donate page.
I look forward to hearing from everybody that’s interested in both forms of support, and I pray we never lose sight of the great commission set before us all:

“Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Matthew 28:16-20 (NIV)

That Time of Waiting On God

2009-02-23T00:31:00.002-06:00

The chapter has ended, and the story has come to an end. The beginning of a missionary's life is something of old. I went, started the process, waited on God, and triumphed according to God's will. Now I'm back in my homeland, America. Waiting on God is a hard thing, especially when He isn't talking.

Reentry has been a challenge. Something I never thought would be. Thank God I have a place to reside. My best friend took me in, knowing the burden of reverse culture shock. I'm at a crossroad in my life. Get a job, reach for support to return to the world God has called me to, forfeit it all once again? I don't know...

I went to Winbourne today, trying to get back to my roots. Pastor Rizzo stated that prayer is the key, and I know he's right. My tired body is looking for the key. The key my restless soul knows where to find. God is here, looking right in my eyes. What do I do? A burdened missionary. I need His guidance. I need His strength. Christ Jesus, I wait for your Word. Tell me the direction, and I'm sure to go. As for now, life goes on. I'm hear for a reason, and surely I will find it. Thank you God for DTS, and thank you for opening that door. Continue to show mercy on me, as I walk this path...this path of a poor missionary. I love you God, show me mercy.

Purpose

2009-02-17T11:35:00.003-06:00

So, I'm back...in Baton Rouge, and I have NO idea what to do. I have no money, no job, no sense of purpose, and God is being silent. The bad thing about this situation is that back in Taiwan I had a drive. I was surrounded by people with a similar purpose, "To Know God, And Make Him Known". We weren't worried about money, cars, a house (The American Dream). We only cared about telling people about Christ. Now that I'm back in a country that I know I'm not called to be in I feel empty. I feel lost, and unimportant, and COMPLETELY powerless (which is how I'm supposed to feel regardless). I know God has me here for a reason, and I know I'll be back in Taiwan on HIS TIME, but I don't know what to do...period.

Pray God shows me something. The fact that I'm having reverse culture shock and jet-lagging doesn't help either.

2009-01-24T20:19:00.009-06:00

The most asked (and biggest) question I've been asked the last couple of weeks is "What's next?". DTS graduation was just 2 days ago, and by the grace of God I'm able to continue my stay here in Taiwan until February 15. Tomorrow is Chinese New Year, and tonight I'm celebrating it the Chinese way with the Huang family, along with Ryan, Kim, Marcus, Isabelle, and Corni. The rest of the time I'm here Corni, Isabelle, Ann, Marcus, Kim, and I are traveling all over Taiwan to visit friends and places.

I have a meeting with my church's, Healing Place Church, missions pastor, Pastor Mark, right after I get back to the States. After that I'm going to rest, and start pursuing full-time support to return to Taiwan, where I'm going to start my language studies, and then staff DTS. I'm not sure how I'm going to go about doing all this in the States, since my car was stolen since I've been here in Taiwan, but I do know I can trust God with everything.

The question "What's next?" is quite simple. Keep pursuing God, keep my head up, keep being teachable, and continue to trust in Him.

Newly Uploaded India Photos

2009-01-19T11:37:00.002-06:00

I know it took way too long, but I've FINALLY uploaded some new photos on my Website. So, check out the site, which STILL needs a lot of updating, and let me know what you think. Sorry, about the lack of updating. I just got back from being in India for 2 months, and ministry in that country is draining to the spirit, mind, and body. Blessings from Taiwan!!!

Life Changes

2009-01-10T01:24:00.002-06:00

These last 2 months in India have been a major influence on my faith in God. I've been so many people begging to know God, kids memorizing scripture verses in their second language, and adults falling to the ground as the presence of the Spirit of God has come into them. I lived in a country (USA) primarily controlled by secularism. Where even Christians still think logically/scientific about their faith. Personally, I've been challenged by the beautiful people here in India to look past my scientific mindset and just let the Spirit come in with no questions asked.

While preparing for my preaching in a few days, and reading my daily bible devotion, I came across Psalm 27. David writes this Psalm to God right after he had an opportunity to kill his enemy, King Saul, in a cave David, and his army of 600 were hiding in. David's men tell him to kill Saul, but David knows God has anointed Saul to be king of Israel, no matter how corrupt and evil he had become. David cuts a piece of Saul's robe in secret, and while Saul and his army are marching away from the cave David emerges and yells out to Saul. David explains that he had the opportunity to kill Saul, but he didn't. Saul in return blesses David, and stops pursuing David for a while.

Psalm 27 challenged me, because David is praising God for His protection. 1 Samuel 13:14 states that 'he is a man after God's own heart'. This is not because David is sinless. Actually, David is quite the opposite. David lies, cheats, steals, commits adultery, and even murders to cover up his adultery. David is a called 'a man after God's own heart' because David's number priority is to dwell in the presence of God for all eternity.

My ultimate prayer in life is to get to that point of longing to being with God above all else. God has used my presence in India to challenge me to change my character. I'm not the man I once was. I need God, and I acknowledge this now. My faith is in Him, and I pray that nothing else will matter in my life as long as I'm in His presence.

All Over India

2009-01-03T06:36:00.002-06:00

It's been a while since I had internet access, and the time I have is very limited. To cut this as short as possible, I'm only going to talk about the areas we went to, and the basics of what we did.

After our ministry ended in Yavatmal (see previous blog), we heading to Aurangabad from December 15-19. December 15 we went to the Christ Church Girl's Hostile, where there were 111 girls, and one boy. We played with the kids, witnessed, etc. December 16 we took a break and went to the Taj Mahal!!! It's a great place. December 17 we went to CNI church, which is a brand new church. It's located in the Rala village. December 18 we went to the village of Dakephal and spent time with the children. December 19 I had the honor of sharing my testimony and preaching at Amba Morhar village.

After our ministry ended in Aurangabad, we headed back to Pune, our base city here in India from December 20-29. We took rest from December 20-21. December 22-23 we were at an orphanage. I had a great birthday on December 24. December 25 we visited the King of Kings church, and we went back to the orphanage on the 26th. On the 27th we spent the morning at the orphanage again, and then went back to the Kings of Kings church and had fellowship with the youth. December 28-29 was our time of rest.

The last city we just got back from, Navapur, was great. We were there from December 30-January 2, and stayed busy every day (the way it should be). December 30 we went to the Nandavan tribe village, which was the first tribe we visited. The best part was that 100% of the villagers are Christians. Honor and glory to our Father in heaven. We also visited the Mouchi tribe village. All the tribes we visited have traditional mud housing. December 31 we celebrated New Years eve in the Raingal village. Possibly the best New Years party I've ever been to. The people loved our teaching so much that we were told EVERYBODY in the area was talking about us and tell people about Christ Jesus. God is so good!

January 1 we went to the Raingal village church. The whole building cost $200. Makes you wonder why we spend millions of dollars back in the States to build one church. That night we went to the Chivati church, where I did a little preaching. I did an exhortation on Judges 7, challenging the people, both Christians/Nonchristians, if they are part of God's '300' army of fully dedicated believers. I received some positive feedback from the people. When we had prayer at the end, we encountered our first demon influenced man. He was screaming and punching and lashing out. The second we said 'be released in the name of JESUS' he was. The Spirit of God was fully alive there. We were told that the largest crowd to ever come to this church was that night. Praise God.

January 2 we were in the Bhovre area. We visited 3 families in the area and prayed for them. One family just lost a son on December 7 to blood cancer. Jesus brought some major healing to them during prayer. The wife of another family just had a miscarriage and the husband recently lost his job. We were able to do some hiking this day in the area. One of the most beautiful mountain/valley scenes I've been to. Vince, Corni, Isabelle, and me hiked one of the smaller mountain and just absorbed God's beautiful creation.

That's our ministry in a nutshell. Wish i could go into great detail, but I've already overstayed my time in the internet cafe. Blessings from India! To God all the glory and honor!

Yavatmal, India

2008-12-11T07:54:00.002-06:00

Have to make this quick, because I'm in an internet cafe. This is a short summary of everything I've been doing here in Yavatmal, India.

December 8th. We visited a single village at night. We had a small service, and a few of us shared our testimonies. The true blessing was to have the family pray for us. Three generations of believers in a village is breath-taking. The grandfather, the head, shared his testimony with us. It was so powerful. God has blessed his family so much. Before he came to Christ, he only owned 5 acres of land for farming. Now, after over 15 years of staying faithful to God, he now has over 20 acres, with his own tractor.

December 9th, my group went to four villages. The first one, Krishnapeth, had a newly developed house church. We visited wih the family, took a few pictures (cant post any due to being in an internet cafe), sang some songs, prayed for the daughter who was about to get married, and for the mother's husband that has been an alcoholic for a long time. The second village, Sawaikhad, had a fairly large population of both Christians and Hindus. The head of the village/police is a very devoted Christian. They served us some great Indian food, and we had a short service. The third village, Old Dhamangon, has many believers. We performed a few dramas for the children. The fourth village, Arvi, was a major blessing. It's an outcast village for hunting and eating a lot of meat (You'd have to understand the culture here in India to understand why they're outcasts). It's one of the most unreached people groups in India. There's no affirmative action here, they aren't recognized by the government, and they aren't aloud to go to school or have jobs. We had a massive prayer rally there. The people are so amazing. They remind me of National Geography wild. They had a sort of wild feeling about them. To be honest, they are the most beautiful group of people I've seen in India.

December 10. The fifth village, Chees, is a fairly poor village with not a lot of believers. They have many children. The sixth village, Borgaon, had even more children, and seemed even more poor that Chees. The seventh village, Banayat, was amazing. We sang some songs for the poeple, but the most incredible part was them singing for us. They performed several traditional songs with traditional instruments. I recorded most of it. I will post it on youtube when I get back to Taiwan. Most of the people are Hindi, but there are Christians there making a massive impact. One of the boys, 12 years old, there was heavy possessed by a demon. I didn't get to see him, but the pastor there told me that they were able to set the boy free (from what I understood). He wouldn't wear any clothes, and only ate grass and leaves since birth. Now he wants to wear clothes and is starting to eat normal food.

Today, Decemeber 11. We went to one village, don't have the name of it yet, to teach about 40 new believers a bible overview. Bogi, Vince, Cornelius, and me taught the bible overview in about 1.5 hours. We then performed some songs, and ate an amazing dinner. The people there also sang to us, and it was so beautiful.

This is all I can write right now. I'll post more when I get a break one day. ;-)

My Supplier, My Desire

2008-11-22T08:20:00.003-06:00

The time came for my finances for DTS to be due. I was still short about $1500USD, and I had exhausted all my options (or so I thought). The finances were due 8 days ago (Friday November 14) at midnight. I went into intercessory prayer at 7pm that night, and the next thing I knew it was 10:30pm. Having being exhausted, and burned out from praying, fasting, and worshiping, I decided to head to bed. At about 11:30pm Josh, head DTS leader, called me to let me know all my finances had come in.

While worshiping God had spoken to me about my finances. He asked me if I was willing to give up the rest of my earthly belongings (MAC, iPod, iPhone, Nintendo DS). I fought the idea for a while, but finally called Josh and asked him to send out a base-wide YWAM email telling everybody my MAC and iPhone were up for sale. I got a phone call later from Josh telling me Dane Myers was interested in buying my MAC, and that he and his wife were in the process of praying about it. I hung up the phone and broke down. I cried out to God for guidance and comfort. They never called back.

I now know that God was testing me. I promised to give up everything on His command to follow Him. He wasn't doing it to see what I would do. He already knew what I would do. But it was a test for me. It showed me exactly where my priorities were, and it was such an exciting moment. I am who I say I am. I'm a follower of Christ. One that doesn't put anything in front of God. One that gets humbled every day by the grace of God. I'm forever changed, and the enemy will never take my faith away...

Truly Giving Everything

2008-11-08T09:02:00.003-06:00

God has been really moving in my life since I decided to trust in Him with my finances (read previous blog). To be honest, I prayed a really dangerous prayer that caused me to not realize that when I told God I was willing to give up every He would do it. Wednesday night, the charger to my Mac overheated and it completely stopped working. Therefore, I couldn't charge/use my computer. And of course, this happens after I release all my finances to God. Thursday I was able to get the charger to charge the computer fully, but I tried to recharge it after class and it wouldn't.

Friday morning I woke up so mad at God that I skipped my quiet-time. We had worship at the DTS classroom at 9:30, and I went just wanting to get it over with. The very first song started, and I broke down. I honestly didn't realize I was being bitter towards God until that point. I realized then that God was testing me if I was truly willing to give up EVERYTHING to follow Him. I cried, and cried, and cried, confessed my sins, cried some more, and confessed even more.

Conviction is such a powerful tool, and oh such a blessing from God. I officially gave it all to God Friday morning, not even longing for God to replace anything in my life physically. While sitting at my home during lunch Friday afternoon Janet (fellow DTS student from Taiwan) came up to me and handed me money to buy a new charger. I just couldn't believe it. She told me that God showed her that I was spending too much time on my computer when I should be spending it growing in His Word. God told her it was a message from Him to not only be joyful when He gives and takes away, but be longing to seek Him first and foremost.

I'm so glad I decided to listen to God, instead of man, take a leap of faith, even if I didn't have all the finances for DTS, and give up everything to follow HIM and come to DTS in Taiwan. I've learned so much about God (His character, love, mercy, grace, wrath, holiness, etc), myself (faith, beliefs, etc), and the world (biblical world view) in these 8 short weeks than I have ever learned going to church, reading the bible, or going to small group. God Bless Taiwan, YWAM, And DTS!!!!!!

Laying It ALL On The Altar

2008-11-05T01:57:00.002-06:00

First came the house, the car, and friends/family. I thought I gave up everything to come to Taiwan to grow closer to God through DTS, but nothing could of prepared me for what happened two days ago. I woke up with the desire to give financially to YWAM. I wasn't sure how much at the time, but after going to the Lord in prayer, He clearly stated 'EVERYTHING'.

So, I opened my dresser and pulled out the perfectly rolled up NT (New Taiwanese) bills, and walked up to Josh, DTS leader. I told him:

If I'm going to trust God in my ministry as a missionary, I need to trust Him in every part of my life. This includes my finances. Here's every bit of money I possess in this world, and I'm trusting He'll provide all my needs. I've relied on myself and man for far too long, and if I want to reach the next step in my life as a missionary I need to trust Him with all my decisions AND finances.

To be honest, this was the hardest decision I've ever had to do so far in short lived life. Since I had to grow up fast, being in the Foster Care system for pretty much my entire childhood, I had to work for everything I wanted for myself. I never had support, or a place to run to when things got rough. Even when I did finally make that important decision to follow Christ Jesus I didn't know I could trust Him for a long time.

When I handed the money to Josh, I almost broke down. I could believe I was trusting God for EVERYTHING. I still had a couple hundred NT in my wallet that I longed to keep for food, but while in class God convicted me. God asked me if I was willing to trust Him 100% or just simply 95%. So, after class I pulled the last bit of money I had in my wallet, including all the change, and gave it to Josh.

I'm not sharing this because I believe I have greater faith than the next person. I knew deep down I didn't trust God enough, and because of this reality I knew I had to step up to the plate. I know the path is going to be rough because of this decision, but I honestly have peace, and nothing can take that away.

Relationships

2008-10-24T11:08:00.002-05:00

This week has been a real challenge for me in DTS. The topic of discussion for the week was relationships. Monday Dane & Bee Myers talked about our Relationship With God on Monday, Family on Tuesday, Confrontation on Wednesday, Dating on Thursday, and Marriage today (Friday). My personal relationship with God, is pretty solid, and growing each day. My family relationship, not so good. I struggle to even call my mom every week, and sometimes I don't even call her once a week.

Probably the biggest struggle for me was the dating and marriage topics. Hard to believe, but I've recently laid down my rights to marriage on the altar. I honestly don't care if I get married, and I'm even to point where I think it'll be a hindrance to my walk and call to missions at this time. Like Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5;

Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Since I made a promise with God a few years ago concerning impurity there is no need for marriage like this passage states. Sure Paul was a little weird, but think about it. If you're spiritually attached to another human, there will have to be times where you have to spend time with this person. Time, ultimately, I'd rather be spending concentrating walking in my call and personal time with God. A married man, can't just pack up and fly off to another country for months at a time, but someone that has no ties can. I'm not saying that I'll never get married, but I am saying that I have given up my right to it all 100%.

If I do get married, it will truly be from God. My standards for marriage is that she HAS to have the exact some call to Taiwan and Asia, as me. She HAS to be willing to travel to remote places, maybe never have our own house, fancy car, or lots of money. I'm called to be a disciple and missionary of God. I'm trying to give up my rights to everything, including my own life. To do this requires giving up EVERYTHING, including my rights to marriage and children.

One Long & Powerful Month

2008-10-11T21:23:00.002-05:00

A relationship renewed, new faces becoming friends, and a new place to call home. Being here in Taiwan has changed virtually everything about my views of God, and even part of my own character. It's been a long month being overseas, away from my family & friends, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I've learned, and still learning, so much about Listening To The Voice of God, Evangelism, The Character of God, and Spiritual Warfare. I can honestly say that I've learned more here than I've learned & been able to acknowledge with the 4 years of going to church on a regular basis, and the months spent in a ministry school. I'm not sure what it is, but I believe the people here that impact me are the most amazing people I've ever met.

Brent & April Wildeson (DTS Staff/At Risk Women Ministry) are, to say the least, the greatest inspirational couple I've had the joy to grow with. There's just something about Brent that draws me to know more about him. Nash Huang (YWAM translator/DTS leader) is incredible as well. He still has a lot of growing to do, like us all, but has been blessed by God in so many ways, and he knows this.

Learning to hear the voice of God has been the most challenging thing I've even done. Especially, after hearing a direction from God, going out and doing what He has shared with me. Being bold has been a big problem in my past after hearing something from God and simply not sharing it. Now, I'm learning boldness is key to becoming more acquainted with my heavenly Father. Also, to make things cooler, I'm been shown the location of my calling as a missionary, and it's Taiwan. Confirmation after confirmation have come pouring into my life. Even an attack from a demonic being, showing the enemy doesn't want me here, has fueled my ambition to keep battling for the Taiwanese people still dwelling in the dark.

Keep praying for my finances. I'm still short, but I've fully given it to God, and I'm tired of worrying about stupid stuff. I'm also heading to Hong Kong tonight to renew my Visa for Taiwan. Pray I have favor with the Taiwanese government, and everything goes smoothly. Lastly, pray for my boldness. I long to be like Paul, being unafraid of not pleasing people, but caring about what God whats. Blessings.

One Accord

2008-09-21T06:35:00.000-05:00

Many people from different countries, with numerous backgrounds, but one heart. A passion to learn more about God, get equipped to fight a common enemy, and spread the Word of God to all nations. Week one was an eye opener for myself, and I hope for many others as well. Beliefs renewed, a relationship rekindled, and wisdom shared from one to another. My fervor to be part of the ministry here in Taiwan has been transformed from a dream to an ultimate reality. Learning to stop being a deductive bible reader wasn’t as much of a challenge as learning to be still in the presence of God and waiting on Him.

Gack brought to the table a clear and simply way of learning more from reading my bible through inductive reading. I’m still in awe on how much more I’m learning now. Don Gillman showed us how to productively talk with God through intercessory prayer. Acknowledging the Spirit of God as being the leader, not myself, and praising God for speaking to me (anticipation), never once crossed my mind.

Small group this week was powerful. No spoken words, not bible study, no group prayer, just being in the presence of my Father, in the countryside, and soaking up His beauty. All of us guys went to a small waterfall, where I was reminded of God’s admirable beauty. Just being surrounded by nature’s splendor made me realize that God is everywhere. I pray this next week will be full of situations involving learning something new, and being able to continue to apply the things I’ve learned from this first week.

If Jealously Was A Knife, We'd All Be Dead...

Taiwan

2008-09-13T11:12:00.007-05:00

So, after 31 hours of plane rides/layovers I finally made it to Dan Shui, Taiwan. I haven't been able to check out the local area, due to a typhoon tearing its way through Taiwan. Hopefully tomorrow, Sunday, I'll be able to get acquainted with my beautiful, yet busy, surrounding. My expectations were blown away of what I would be experiencing, and I'm stoked that God has brought me here. My life is about to change, for the better, forever.

We have students from all over the world this year. Two of us are from the States, one from Mongolia, two from Japan, two from Germany, one from Brazil, one from Holland, one from Canada, and one from the Philippines. I'd love to write more, but it's really late, and I have church in the morning. The pictures below are me on the plane right over Tokyo, and the other is in DanShui, Taiwan. Blessings! Also, I added more pictures on my website.

Website Updates

2008-09-08T12:31:00.001-05:00

Small updates to website. Nothing too noticeable, but still...very busy! Blessings.

Offically 12 Days Away

2008-08-30T18:08:00.002-05:00

Today was the day I've been longing for ever since God called me to the missions field about 4 years ago. At 8am this morning I purchased my plane ticket to Taiwan to begin my missions training. I'm so excited, and nervous at the same time, to be able to finally start walking the path I chose to spread the Word of God to Asia. Keep me in your prayers that I may learn much, become more intimate with God, and not stumble back to my old life when the times get tough and I can't see Papa in the mist of battle. Blesses.

Stepping Out of the Norm

2008-08-26T22:08:00.002-05:00

Until recently I never had the guts to step out into faith and take on man. I'm sick of being the normal 'christian'. I've decided, even though I don't have the finances in order yet, to move to Taiwan. I've prayed about it, and have received confirmation from a leader of DTS, and my best friend, Jonathan McNabb, to suit up my armor and tackle stress, anxiety, depression, and all the other spirits of the enemy, head on.

When you look back, don't you want to say you had enough guts to go for it?

-Tranformers

Pray for me, and my step out of the boat to walk on water in faith...

Water In To Wine

2008-08-25T19:46:00.006-05:00

It's sad that for so long faith has been seen in the human element as religion. For too long has pure intimacy with God, the way He designed it to be, been established by rules, laws, and regulations. All of you water-downed churches, christians, religions, and righteousness, stop fleeing, stand up, fight this oppression, and together, as one united being, we can dethrone our enemy. I'm tired of seeing denomination vs nondenomination. Who's right, and who's wrong? Can't we just get back to the basics? An undying desire to worship Him. A desire, not from the fear of eternal damnation, but a desire to just know Him more. A longing to love our Creator, and worship the purest of perfect. I love you Jesus! I'm not ashamed. I will spread your Word, like a wild fire, upon all the nations, like you instructed us oh so long ago...

And The Masses Shall Gather

2008-08-22T19:58:00.008-05:00

Last week was one of those weeks. Working out of town, 16 hours a day. Having to joyfully working with incompetent morons, that quite frankly, scare me to death using power tools, and then THE CALL.

From the beginning of Jesus' ministry, until the present, humanity has longed, with a passion, to gather together to be filled with the presence of the Spirit of God (Whether a believer or not). Last Saturday, August 16, housed such an event. Together with 2 very close friends, Jonathan McNabb and Michael Scichowski, we embarked on a road trip to the great capitol of Washington D.C. It was a rigorous 18 hours of driving to stop over at my parents house for Friday's day and night at parents house, but oh so worth the over priced gas, the uncomfortable back seat, Jonathan's uncontrollable ADHD locked up in one confined space, and Michael farting in his sleep (Don't tell him I said that, HAHA!).

It was a joy to show off my parents to friends, and I know my parents were pleased to see me after 2 long years. Saturday morning we set out from my parents house, who only live 2.5 hours south of D.C., for THE CALL, with an unexpected turnout and an unprecedented expectation to worship the one and only true God right in front of our capitol. All together, 70,000 people responded to THE CALL, where 12 hours of straight fasting, prayer, and worship, invoked God's Spirit and came down to us in a pillar of fire right on The Mall in front the capitol building.

To be so intimate with God is a luxury our people have seemed to forget in a world of so many distractions. But for a brief 12 hours, 70,000 people got together in one spirit to worship Jesus, and the outcome was astonishing. Our nation is dying, falling apart at it's seams, and many of us 'Christians' are so caught up in getting our blessings, that we tend to forget what really matters. This nation of ours is turning into the next Babylon, where our lands are crying out with the tears of the innocent who's blood has been shed. I'm talking about the 32 million aborted children God's creation has destroyed, and the numbers are raising with a roar.

This, like a few other issues, are presented each time THE CALL is scheduled. To be honest, I came back different. I no longer desire to watch TV, but rather spend the few hours I would of spent in front of it reading the Word or other spirit filled books. I currently picked up 'The Shack' by William P. Young, and it's turning out to be one of the best novels I've read in some time.

THE CALL will be in California on November 1, 2008 at Qualcomm Stadium. So if you're in that area, or long to worship Christ outside the walls of today's church, I urge you to attend. Also, keep me in your prayers. September 9th is coming up fast, and I'm still short a bit of money to make it to Taiwan, China. Blessings!!!

FYI: This is me in a silent prayer, most of which are not silent, but screaming out to God to come to me with mercy and love. Yeah, I may look silly, but it's about the 9th hour into the event, and I don't care!!!

How Dark Is Too Dark?

2008-08-08T19:30:00.004-05:00

I had this discussion with a friend yesterday about music. I personally like metal music, in all it's form. From death to black and goth. But I refuse to listen to anything but Godly music. I've grown to really like Virgin Black. They're goth metal, with a pretty dark sound, but they're Godly with their lyrics. My friend stated that there's certain times when music itself can be used for good and evil, but I disagree. Music itself is neither good nor evil, it's neutral. The lyrics themselves are what defines good and evil.

Take Jesus for example, He as God became man, sin itself, to bring hope to us. So, if a band decided to venture into the unGodly realm of death/black/goth metal to reach people that would more-than-likely step into a satanistic church rather than a Godly church, are they venturing too far? I don't think so. I think their goal is to be like Jesus, and attempt to reach the unreachable. What do you think?

God's Will Over Man's

2008-07-27T20:58:00.002-05:00

Over the past 8 months, since God has put it on my heart to prepare for China, I've had so much support. But with tons of support comes some disagreement. I know, with 100% truth, that God wants me to attend YWAM's DTS. With one disagreement comes confirmation after confirmation. Take today for example. Out of nowhere I get blessed with close to enough money to support for plane ticket to and from China. Is that confirmation or what? I've even been told from tons of family members, church family members, and two separate churches that I will be receiving financial and spiritual support from them in the very near future.

Even though I know with all my faith and being that I'm called to this distant land, I'm still distressed. Not really stressed, but just wondering when, I know it's coming, my support will be 100%. Pray for me, and my future. Blessings.

Murdering Controversy

2008-07-13T14:49:00.005-05:00

What would you do if someone tried to kill your faith? Would you deny your faith like Peter did right before Jesus was murdered? Or would you keep the faith like Job when he was on the brink of death and his own wife told him to curse God and die? It's easy to say you'd be like Job in the face of evil, but what about in real life?

Recently, my blog was attacked, and this person tried to kill my faith through words of controversy:

You are so delusional that it is giving me a headache through the computer! Come read the truth about your bastard "god" and your perverted bible:

www.bayourabbi.blogspot.com

Many people would find this offensive, and more than likely retort. During Jesus' Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5:38, He says that when someone strikes you on one cheek you should turn the other cheek. What exactly does this mean? Should we be turning the other cheek in a sign of backing down and walk away? Personally I think NOT.

As a warrior of God I know what Jesus truly meant by turning the other cheek. In my personal life, and accepting my role as a missionary, I've come across plenty of people that hate me and God. It wasn't long before I figured out what Jesus meant, and it's simple advice. When someone strikes you on the cheek, whether it be physically or verbally, turn the other cheek and say "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!"

I'm not backing down from my faith, and I'll die sharing the Word of God. When this person attacked me, I wasn't angry, distressed, pissed, or whatever. My heart broke. It's a shame that so many people out there are so blinded by the god of this world, satan, and can't see the truth...

God's Country

2008-07-05T18:34:00.003-05:00

Crazy how much we get caught up in our every day lives, and we tend to forget there's a beautiful world right in front of us. Today was a day that I got to experience the surreal nature God created. Esther, Elijah, Jon, and I went to Mississippi for a kayak trip today. I couldn't even imagine how much I needed to relax and appreciate God's creation. Sure Elijah, Jon and me raced each other every once and a while, crazy man competitive nature, but I got to take in nature, chill with real friends, and just simply enjoy life.

Acceptance

2008-07-04T15:42:00.003-05:00

For the first time in my life my calling as a missionary has come true. Today, July 4th, I received my official DTS, Discipleship Training School, acceptance letter. To check it out, go to ChrisNickJoy. The letter is posted for all to see!

A Modern-Day Paul

2008-06-26T23:16:00.002-05:00

I sometimes wonder, sometimes, if I'm truly meant to be a modern-day Paul more than anything. He spent his entire life on this world witnessing to people, no matter the situation, location, or cause. Because he devoted his life to God he felt everything else was pointless, including a wife. He even says in Corinthians that a person shouldn't get married unless he/she can't control their sexual urges. To be up front, my promise from God seems to be dying. I'm not losing my faith, but still I just wonder. Am I a modern-day Paul?

The Present

2008-06-10T18:30:00.003-05:00

For the longest time, and still today, I think about the future. Something I heard a long time along for my youth pastor, Robbie Sparks in VA, is that the enemy reminds us of our mistakes and sins of the past, and tries to trouble us with the promises of the future. I have many promises of the future. Some little, and some lifetime. I have no trouble with the past. I do have my more than fair share of sins of the past, but I know God has forgiven me, so they don't effect me. It's the future that buckles my knees.

You see, a promise of a wife is pure, and spiritual. I will marry once, and ONLY once. She will be my one, and I will be her one. The problem is that I have a promise, and I don't have the faith to see it, nor stop worrying about it, and live the promise of now. In a nutshell. God doesn't promise tomorrow, not even an hour from now, but He does promise NOW!

Something I heard, and has stuck with me since, is an old Chinese saying. That saying is, "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why we call it the present." The future is blind, but I promise to hold on to my promises from God. Whether they are inhumanly impossible or not. Because, God loves to work in the impossible and show off His amazing grace.

Hope For The Hopeless

2008-05-20T21:09:00.010-05:00

So I got off work early today, and I decided to head over to the Baton Rouge Dreamcenter, Winbourne. I called Craig Boutte to see if anyone was there, and if I could help out in any way. He was at home getting lunch, and told me that a homeless woman had just come into our drop-in center and guys were needed to go to her old home and get her things. Come to find out, she had been living at this house for about a month, and the place was infested with cockroaches. Also, some crackheads had broken into her house and stole her tv, and wasn't sure if they were still there. Craig, Charity, Pastor Adam, and me went with the woman to her house, and us guys busted up into her crib. Fortunately, nobody was there.

We grabbed her things, and headed to this woman's homeless shelter, Ms. Green's Woman's Shelter. By the way, the woman has a 4 year old girl, and a seven year old son (was in school at the time). Ms. Green is on fire for the Lord. She owns this 2 story beautiful home, and currently houses around 20 women, and 40 children. She gave us a tour of the facilities, and come to find out, she owns 7 acres of land behind the house. Ms. Green has been running this shelter for 3 years, and not once has had to pay mortgage for the house or property. God has provided for this shepherd beyond anything humanly possible. As for the homeless woman, Charity told me that when she first arrived at the Dreamcenter, she was depressed, but once we arrived at the shelter you told see a dramatic change. She went from hopeless to hopeful, just because true followers of Christ stood up for her, and helped out in a big way. Glory goes to God Almighty!

God gave Ms. Green a vision, and while praying for her, Pastor Adam confirmed this. The vision was that she will be blessed with a five story home right behind her current one, and will be able to house hundreds of women. Pastor Adam and I both decided that we needed to tell Pastor Dino about making her shelter a must do for this years Servolution.

So much more went on today at the Dreamcenter, but I'm exhausted and I must sleep. God bless, and goodnight faithful!

United We Live

2008-05-13T20:55:00.004-05:00

What if God decided to stop caring one day? What if He just turned His back on society and didn't long for salvation to reach the world? Society today believes this has happened. That God has turned His back on them. How else can we explain the single mother of 3 getting shot, or the old man that the neighborhood loves getting robbed of all his possessions? Why would God do this? One simple statement, it's not God, but the enemy. Satan comes to kill, steal, and destroy, and Jesus comes to bring life, and life more abundantly. It's not that God isn't in control, but that God already said these will be signs of His coming again.

Satan is the god, lower case, of this world. He's not omnipresent, but he has the fallen at his command. God is raising up an army, to stand and show the world that life's not about sex, drugs, money and power. But about life, salvation, servanthood and worship. As followers of Jesus, we must stand together.

God gave me a glimpse of the future the other night at Jordan Kaiser's house while a group of us came together to worship Him. He showed me division within the church. Not something petite, but doctrine. We as followers much stand firm on His Word, and discern the evil one and his deception. United we live, divided we DIE!

Following Jesus

2008-04-29T22:41:00.002-05:00

I was walking down a trail with a guy following me, or so I thought. Once we reached the break, I headed north and he headed south. I discovered that there’s a big difference between following and just walking the same direction for a time.

In John 6 a similar event occurs. There are huge crowds “following” Jesus. But they eventually get tired of his teaching and they’re no longer entertained by his show. So, they leave. Jesus has an interesting response. Rather than chase after them and beg them to stay He turns to those that stuck around and asks, “Do you want to leave too?” Their response is, "Where else would we go, who else has the answers of life?" In effect they declare that they are “following” Jesus while the others just happened to be walking the same direction for a time.

In your life, is Jesus conveniently going the same way that you are? Does He just happen to be meeting your needs or are you following HIM? Sometimes He leads us down trails that are sketchy and difficult. However, He’s there to calm us and take care of the details. The true test is not what we do when Jesus leads us to go where we want to go but what occurs when He leads us to think, say, do or go where we don’t want to. Are you “following” Jesus today?

Prophecy Fulfilled In Golgotha

2008-04-20T22:53:00.001-05:00

Sad how whenever someone hears music like this their first reaction is, "Oh my, this is so evil." Well guess what? Watch the video, read the lyrics, and know now that God uses what the enemy attempted for evil to do His will, and bring even the most vial person to salvation! Judge not, yet you be judged yourself...

Live And Kickin'

2008-04-19T23:32:00.002-05:00

Ok, my website, http://www.chrisnickjoy.com, is active online. Check it out, and let me know what you guys think. FYI, the site is FAR from being complete. None of the links work, except the BLOG button, but one day they will.

Also, be praying that I learn to stop being so hard-headed. Instead of letting my leg completely heal, I decided to play soccer tonight. What can I say? I was at my church's, Healing Place Church, Spanish campus, because we had a cookout. There were hispanics, soccer balls, goals, and I had my cleats with me. That's it, no more soccer for a month =[

The Human Body

2008-04-13T21:13:00.004-05:00

It's so amazing how our physical bodies work. It can process sustenance, fight off diseases, cure broken bones and mend destroyed muscles. In my case, the mending of destroyed muscles is what I'm believing the body, that our perfect Creator in Heaven designed, can do. While playing soccer today I ripped my right calf muscle. I went to the ER because the pain was getting worse, and they said I can't use my right leg for 7 to 10 days. This is bad news for me, because I work outside for a living right now. Therefore, no finances for a week.

This weekend's service was about trusting in God through the good and the bad. Right now, thinking about the bills I have, and not sure what to do about them, I'm trusting Him with everything I have. Our bodies are capable of mending these things, and I know God is with me, and I'll NEVER lose hope!

Adventures In China

2008-04-10T23:17:00.002-05:00

Just to let everybody know, everybody meaning the possible 3 people that read this, that I'm now the proud owner of the domain name, chrisnickjoy.com. The reason why it's not chrisjoy.com is because there's an impostor in our midsts. I'm in the process right now of transferring the domain name to a server, and soon I'll be building the site from scratch. The site, in a whole, is going to be dedicated to my adventures in China, and all the amazing things God will be be doing through me while I'm there.

Blogs are fine and all, but it just doesn't provide the necessary tools to make an amazing site. There will be video/audio, tons of pictures, a daily word to learn Mandarin, day by day struggles and triumphs, and many other amazing, and fancy, stuff. So, look out, my life will be on display for all to see, and I pray it will help spread the amazing Word of God to everybody. Also, I'm going to see about getting the site translated to Chinese!!!! To all my friends, family members, enemies, and future wife, I love you all!

Hope Becomes The New Addiction

2008-03-29T09:04:00.003-05:00

Hope, noun:
The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best: to give up hope.

Hope, verb:
To believe, desire, or trust: I hope that my work will be satisfactory.

Hope, bible translation:
By its very nature, hope stresses two things: (a) futurity, and (b) invisibility. It deals with things we can’t see or haven’t received or both:

1 Peter 1:3 - He has given us new birth into a living HOPE through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead

According to the worldly definition of this word, hope almost seems wishy washy, with doubt in the air. When you take the word from the bible, at this original Greek root word, it literally means "a strong and confident expectation".

In the Bible, hope is never a static or passive thing. It is dynamic, active, directive and life sustaining. This is everywhere obvious as we read the Word. Take a concordance, look up the word “hope” and you will find reference after reference pointing out the active results of hope in the lives of those who truly have a biblical hope and live accordingly.

In other words, a biblical hope is not an escape from reality or from problems. It doesn’t leave us idle, drifting or just rocking on the front porch. If our hope is biblical and based on God's promises, it will put us in gear.

Personally, my future is in God's hands. I have hope that I live every day in His grace and mercy, my promises come to pass in the right time, and I don't miss a single moment to be an idiot, in the eyes of the world, for God. Like Craig Groeschel said, "My answer's yes, now what's the question?" What he meant by this is, "God, what do you want me to do, and when do you want it done." To the world, I'm an idiot!

The Calling of Chris Joy

2008-03-26T01:03:00.004-05:00

As September begins to slowly make it's way to the present I realize that I'm feeling a lot like the rich young man in the scriptures of Matthew 19:16-22:

Now a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?" "Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, obey the commandments." "Which ones?" the man inquired. Jesus replied, " 'Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.'" "All these I have kept," the young man said. "What do I still lack?" Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Ok, I know I'm not 'wealthy', but I do own a beautiful new Scion tC, a lot of electronics, a house, many friends, and a 'stable' job. When I first realized the calling in my life was to start with giving up everything I was overzealous, and I was 100% gun ho. But recently, with less than 6 months to go, I've realized I'm SCARED out of my mind! I'm not proud of these feels, but I know my spirit. It's oh so willing, but my human side is weak.

I long to be like the infamous tax collector, Matthew. Jesus simply said to Matthew, "follow me," and without hesitation, Matthew stood up and followed Him. Matthew didn't know this man named Jesus. Even when he was with Jesus for His 3 years of ministry he still didn't realize who Jesus was until the Spirit of God came down to the world. Matthew had no idea Jesus was God, but he still faithfully walked His path without a second thought.

I pray I become more like Matthew. To give up everything, without the thoughts this world tells me what makes my life stable. Without Christ Jesus I'd be nothing. I'm giving up everything, and one day I'll give up this worldly life completely and show the nations the true love of God!

Love: Weakness Or Blessing?

2008-03-06T18:27:00.005-06:00

I always thought I'd be married before I turned 30, be in love for the rest of my life, and die with my wife in my arms. However, ever since I decided to finally stop running from God, and follow my calling as a church bringer, I've realized that God is such a jealous Father. He needs to be first; in my finances, time, life, love, etc. Once I realized this, all my expectations on marriage got shot out the window. To be honest, in 2 years I don't know what I'll be doing. My goal is to rekindle my love, but it's truly in God's hands.

Love is such an emotional burden when it's not time, but can be such a blessing when you have a promise, and you know the love God has planned for you. Looking to God for all your answers is hard, but that's faith. Like the lyrics from August Burns Red's song, Black Sheep:

You’ve fallen captive to what you thought would save you, what you thought would clean your slate.
You’re in the thick of it now and you have swallowed the hook.
What’s done is done.
We’ll continue on with or without you.
Pain must exist in order for healing to survive.
Neither one will ever serve their purpose alone.
You’ve fallen in love with a dream you’ve never had.
You’ve fallen in love with a surreal way of living.
To late to wake, farewell and good luck to you.
See you at the end.
Too late to wake, to lay too waste.
I’m throwing in the towel.
This is my goodbye.
Don’t worry.
We saw through your trickery, and were coming out alive.
See you at the end.
What was once your life is now lifeless.
What was once your life is now your jail cell.

I want to concentrate on the italicized/bold part of the lyrics. God always brings us through trials to show, teach, or disciple us on things we need to grow stronger in. My current trial is exactly a trial of healing. I was first feeling nothing but pain, but while God worked on my heart, He showed me some things that were hindering my walk. If it wasn't for going through this seemingly unbearable pain, I would of never noticed the locked doors in my heart. I know the promise God has planned for me about my wife. I now wait patiently for the day she's back in my life!

Live The Life

2008-03-04T08:08:00.002-06:00

I truly want to live the life God designed for me. To run the path with perseverance, complete my destiny. To take old of that for which my Lord took hold of me, and see His power in my life and live completely free. With no shame or condemnation, but clothed in purity. To take the weapon in my hand and fight the enemy. To be light so strong and bright, and see my family live a life of righteousness. Their freedom I shall see. To be part of the greatest move of God in history, and flourish in His house and in His presence. To live daily, bound by nothing but His love, giving all of me. Yes, today I choose to live the life He planned for me! Never again will pride, idolatry, fear, and heartache separate me from my KING!

In this world, being a follower of Christ is foolish in the eyes of the unsaved. Truly, we are idiots. Who would in their right mind sell everything and follow someone they've never met? Why would God choose 'ordinary men', ordinary meaning idiotes, meaning AN IDIOT, to be leaders of the greatest movement in human history? Simply put, God calls the weak to lead the strong. He gives sinner freedom, and 'holy' people damnation.

Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.
Acts 5:38-39

Jesus Style

2008-03-01T17:02:00.006-06:00

Every day in the life of a follower of Christ is a testimony in itself. Whether it's a testimony of faith, or sin, it's written in each of our books. My life is a testimony of faith, burden, betrayal, murderer of the flesh, provider of sin, and on and on. I'm not perfect, and never will I be, but I strive for excellence day in and day out. My knowledge of the bible is still that of a child. My prayer life is sometimes never present. But my servanthood will never disappear, nor shrink. We're ALL called to be servants. Jesus never once got waited on, because He was always the one on the ground washing other's feet. My life will never be that of a king, and I'm greatful.

Time

2008-02-26T21:57:00.003-06:00

It's funny, yet really painful, how long it takes for us as humans to understand what God is doing in our lives. Heck, it took me 3 months to realize I was holding back my pure intimacy with Christ will dating my recent girlfriend. I never once realized I was placing God and her on the same pedestal.

To keep this short, mostly because I just got home from working a 13 hour shift, God works on His time. And to be frank, He has no time. I'm learning many things through this season in my life of being seperated from the woman I love the most.

1. God Is A Very Jealous God And Will Never Be Tied For First.
2. Pure Intimacy With God Will Lead To Dreams & Visions Come True.
3. There Are Many Splendors In Life.
4. The Road Is Long, Hard, and Full of Trials And Temptations.
5. Jesus Is The Way, The Truth, And The Life!
6. Mathew 6:33-34

Peace, Love, Happiness

2008-02-10T09:37:00.000-06:00

Sounds like what some hippy or new waver would say, but they're things I've only been able to truly experience when I give everything to God. I was in the valley for way too long, and I noticed I wasn't getting anywhere because I wasn't giving God my attention. The second I realized God was in charge was the second I felt peace, love, and happiness. Pastor Dino spoke about Love and several other topics this weekend. He said that human love will always let us down, and oh how it's so true.

To be honest, when I was in my most recent relationship I was letting her fill some of the hole in the heart that can only be filled by the Spirit of God. This was the true downfall of our relationship. I wasn't giving God everything I had, therefore He took things away to get my undivided attention. It took time, me running, and almost denouncing Him, for me to give Him everything. My prayers have been answered, my life is perfectly complete, and all it took was seeking God's face with everything I have. When you think about it, it's not very hard, but like Matthew wrote in Matthew 26:41, "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."

It is always true of the disciple that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, and he must therefore "watch and pray." The spirit knows the right way, and desires to follow it, but the flesh lacks courage and finds it too hard, too hazardous and wearisome, and it stifles the voice of the spirit. I wasn't watching for the enemy and he used the one person I love the most to get to me, and he won that fight. But, because I am renewed by the blood and sacrifice of my Lord and Savior, Christ Jesus, that win for him was also my victory. I've come to love God more than I ever have before. I long for His love, and He's blessed and shown me the way.

I now have a plan in life, a purpose to fulfill with every breath I take. I'm a disciple, a missionary, an apostle, a warrior, a worshiper, a friend, and most importantly, a child of the Living God, Emmanuel. I will show the world what it means to truly give it all the God. If this takes giving up my plans, which it has on many occasions, my life, my worldly job, my car, my finances, and my love, I will rest assured I did the right thing, AND I WILL HAVE PEACE!

When All Was Lost

2008-02-01T14:51:00.000-06:00

Like all my friends know, I had literally lost my will to continue my pursuit of Christ. I lost the only woman I thought would never hurt me, and the best job I've ever had, all within 4 months. I got so depressed I publicly denounced my faith. Funny how when I asked people to STOP praying for me they did the exact opposite.

I got a word for David McNabb the other day. He told me about Pastor Dino's word about 16 years ago he was in pure darkness like me. He told God that if He didn't come in and do something he would walk away forever. God spoke to him and asked how he could trust Him when things were going smooth and not trust Him when he was in the dark. 16 years later, Pastor Dino is the leading pastor of the most amazing church in the world.

I realized then that if I truly believed in my promise would she really want someone struggling with their faith, or someone completely devoted. Also, how can I even think about the other promises I've received about my future and being a missionary if I can't even trust God with love?

I'm completely unemployeed, still heartbroken (slowly getting over it), and now backed up on bills. But, I'm FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!! at piece! I'm where God wants me, and that's all that matters. When I gave my life to God 10 years ago, I promised to give Him everything. I don't care anymore about if I'm going to lose my new car, my home, etc., because I've realized I got these things to begin with BECAUSE of God's mercy and grace. If I have to lose everything in order to show the world God's glory I will. If I have to live a life like Paul, I will.

As for her, I found it a lot easier to stop missing her when I start praying for her and giving her to Him. Sorry girl...I'm forgetting you, like you did to me.

When In The Dark

2008-01-22T14:42:00.000-06:00

These past couple of days have been a trial I will never forget. I'm in the dark, and Mr. David said today that 2 to 3 years from now I'll be able to see what God was doing. I'm official blind right now, and all I have left is to keep walking. I can't see a thing, not even that stereotypical 'light at the end of the tunnel'. I've lost everything, and Craig Boutte said this is the time God has set aside to show me where my priorities are, and where they should be. All the plans I had for myself have failed, and the struggles I've endured seem irrelevant now. I'm at that inevitable crossroad now...do or die. The place where every follower of Christ much stumble across. I'm fortunate enough to deal with this decision early in my walk, unlike some many people before, during, and after me. Rock bottom doesn't even come close to the state I'm in right now.

I hit rock bottom the day she denounced her love for me, and now I'm at the core. The core is fear. The core of despair. But like Paul said, God is merciful, and He'll never bring us through something without an escape. My flesh is weak, and my soul is weaker, but soon, my flesh will be strong and my soul will be unstoppable. I'm meant for more than most people could even imagine, and I'll be darn if the enemy will take away what I've ventured so hard to obtain. I'm a warrior, and God will set me FREE!!!

Sleepless Nights Alone

2008-01-09T15:56:00.000-06:00

Reminds me of a past life when everything was beautiful...

Still Remains - Sleepless Nights Alone
At the end of all the earth
I find you here alone
At the forefront of my heart
And the butterflies
That tried to bring you life
Have died and gone away

Oh we are apart and I am lost
So while she sleeps, she dreams
We spend another sleepless night alone

You're so flirtatious with loneliness
And time just lingers on
We'll never become one
Forgot me, love
I've tried to bring you home
But I've died and gone away

Even if forever never comes
You're the only one
Who makes me come undone

A Gospel Lifestyle

2008-01-09T01:10:00.000-06:00

The Word of God, the bible, talks about living a life of spreading the Gospel of Christ daily. How can you do this? Well, I gave a testimony, not mine, to my roommate today about Jonathan sharing the Word to a chinese girl a while back. It came down to the girl wanting to know why Jonathan was happy, and smiling, and joking around all the time. He told her he had Jesus, and let it go. For about 2 weeks she kept on asking him why he was so happy and he's only say the same thing. Finally, one day the girl grabbed him and demanding to know what Jesus was. That's when God released him and let him share the Word.

You see, by just us living a happy life, and showing love to everybody, even our enemies, we are spreading the Gospel. Mark said, we should show the world the Gospel, and sometimes it require words.

I've been so frustrated these past few weeks. Trying so hard to decide if this promise I have built up inside me is of God or not. Honestly, I don't know any more. She's telling me it will never happen, most of my 'friends' are saying the same thing. One friend is telling me to give it to God, and one is saying I need to win her love again. I'm tired of this scar in my heart growing bigger every day. I'm tired of the rejection, and the burden.

I'm pretty certain that I'm not showing the Gospel through my actions at work, which is where my mind wonders most of the time, and I have time to think about her. I pray God gives me strength, and shows me why I can't give it all to Him. I want to move on, but my promise is too strong. I thank God every day for my best friend, Jonathan McNabb. He's now praying with me to see if my promise is true. God, you're so wonderful, and I praise you with every breath I take. I've had to sacrifice so much these past 3 months, but I've grown and gained more than I've ever lost.

With Blood Comes Cleansing

2008-01-02T00:30:00.000-06:00

**These are the lyrics to With Blood Comes Cleansing's new album 'Horror'**

There is no one righteous, not even one; no one seeks God. Their throats are open graves; their tongues practice deceit. Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness. Their feet are swift to shed blood; ruin and misery mark their ways, and the way of peace they do not know. There is no fear of the Lord before their eyes. Fear God, and give Him glory, because the hour of His judgment has come.

As mortal death was at the door, the night seemed darker than before. Silence but no peace, visions of agony. The sweat and blood pour out, hemorrhaging from the pores of His body. Rise up, the betrayer is at hand. The Son of Man betrayed into the hands of sinners. Innocent blood will be shed by the hands of the guilty. As mortal death was at the door, the night seemed darker than before. The sweat and blood pour out, hemorrhaging from the pores of His body.

Forsaken by His closest friends, treated like a thief. See them draw their weapons; see them draw their swords. See them draw their weapons; they draw their swords. He was taken like a criminal, His innocence among the thieves. Liars, false witnesses, scourged to please the crowd. With each lash the skin is torn. Lash upon lash, ripping flesh from the bone. He took our sickness; He took our sorrow. By His stripes we are healed.

Nails hammered through His hands and feet, blood spraying from His veins and His body’s weak. Lifted up, a mangled spectacle for all the world to see, beaten and ridiculed lying in agony, His blood has set us free. Each breath is harder than the last. Our sin clinging to His body, now it is finished. He felt forsaken, He felt all alone. The earth begins to shake, graves are opened their bodies are awake. Our sin clinging to His body, now it is finished. He felt forsaken, He felt all alone.

The sin of the world was placed upon Him, leaving our filthy stains. His holy body was placed in the earth for three days and three nights. He descended low into the earth, the place where spirits where held. He took the keys of hell and death, plans of the enemy failed. Into hell and back again, capturing captivity. Into hell and back again, openly. The battle has been won. The tomb is empty; He’s alive. He ascended on high. Arisen from the grave now we all can be saved the price for sin is now paid.

As He left is how He shall return, separating the sky. It’s up to you. What choice will you decide? Will you live or will you die? Many things are written, written in His word, prophecies being fulfilled. Suffering and pain for the wicked ones, but peace for those who have been sealed. Time is short now count the cost. He will come back to judge the lost. Earthquakes and famines, a world that’s filled with pain. Hatred and war, the suffering begins. Earthquakes and famines, a world that’s filled with pain. Vengeance and murder, the earth is at its end. As He left is how He shall return separating the sky. It’s up to you what choice will you decide? Will you live or will you die?

The sun will blacken and the moon become as blood. The stars will fall from space. People will flee to the mountains, to hide their bodies from His face. The sun will blacken and the moon become as blood. The stars will fall from space. The day of His wrath will come, on wicked men. The day of His wrath will come, who shall stand? Blood and fire shall burn the earth. Woe to those who inhabit the earth, in His wrath they won’t stand. The day of His wrath will come, on wicked men. The day of His wrath will come, who shall stand. Soon the mountain will be burning with fire. Soon the water will turn bitter. The day of His wrath will come, on wicked men. The day of His wrath will come, who shall stand? Blood and fire shall burn the earth.

As the pit is opened up the smoke will fill the sky. As the air is filled with darkness, they shall begin to fly. These demon locusts, will obey their king. Commanded not to kill their victims only to sting. Shaped like horses prepared for battle, with the power of a scorpion. Released to torture God’s opposition, all the rejecters all the blasphemers. Death shall flee. There is no way out. Hear their victims’ screams as they fill the sky. Cursed to feel the torture, they long to die. These demon locusts will obey their king. Commanded not to kill their victims, only to sting. Death shall flee.

It’s written in the pages. You have been warned for years. Armageddon’s coming, the sum of all your fears. You chose whom you would serve. You chose your side, now you get what you deserve. You chose your side, now pay the price. The battle lines have been drawn, knee deep in blood we’ll sing our victory song. War like this world has never seen; the time for mercy has passed. Evil shall triumph no more. This world wins no more. It’s written in the pages. You have been warned for years. Armageddon’s coming, the sum of all your fears.

Carcasses will be everywhere, left to decay, enough flesh left behind, for the birds to feed. The armies of the beast shall wallow in defeat, their mangled bodies rotting, left for the birds to eat. Carcasses will be everywhere left to decay. The armies of the beast shall wallow in defeat. With the sword of His mouth He will slaughter the wicked. He’ll be riding on a white horse, His garments dipped in blood, Heaven’s army following, wrath poured out like a flood. King of Kings and Lord of Lords, King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Carcasses will be everywhere, left to decay, enough flesh behind for the birds to feed. The armies of the beast shall wallow in defeat, their mangled bodies rotting, left for the birds to eat. With the sword of His mouth He will slaughter the wicked.

One thousand years you will be bound up. When set free you will deceive. God’s judgment on you will come quickly; the flames will gladly then receive. Then your pain shall bring us comfort. We shall rejoice as you suffer in the flames. Into the lake with the beast and false prophet, there you’ll receive your eternal damnation. We shall rejoice as you suffer in the flames. One thousand years you will be bound up. When set free you will deceive. God’s judgment on you will come quickly; the flames will gladly then receive.

Destroyed by fire, many things will pass away. A new Heaven and new earth will stand for eternity. Destroyed by fire, many things will pass away. No more sorrow, nothing left to fear. God our father shall wipe away all our tears. No more darkness, no more night, His holy presence shall be the light. Behold all things are new. Only those whose name are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, shall live forever in this city, where there no longer will be strife. No more sorrow, nothing left to fear, God our father, shall wipe away all our tears. No more darkness, no more night, His holy presence shall be the light. Behold all things are made new. All things are new.

Only The Strong Survive

2007-12-31T09:01:00.000-06:00

Ever since I came to know Christ, and even before, I've always heard people talk about using God as a sheild, persay, against the enemy. It's hard to find people that take it a step further and actually ask God for the strength to attack the enemy, rather than be defensive. Personally, I hate defense. I don't want to hide behind something and wait for the enemy. I am a mighty warrior, and I have the light of God on me, who shall I Fear?! I know that Satan isn't scared of me, because I'm a sinful being, but he is scared of my Father.

I have to battle the enemy every day, the second I wake up, but I will overcome! I've been hurt, stabbed in the heart, had all of my bones broken, been called a coward and a fool. But with the resurrecting power of MY GOD, I've been able to get back up and press towards my goal. The goal of spreading the Good Word for all to hear. Check out the song on the right side of my blog page, War of Ages - Only The Strong Survive (Lyrics Below)...

Lord God release us now
The time has come to release our rage
The weak shall fall but the strong survive
God prepare our hearts for war
A fight to the end is our last breath
We will search for the truth

Now we see our emptiness
And why our hearts are filled with so much pain
Because we choose to lead a world that has lost all hope
But if we rise together as one we will take this world by storm

We'll take this world by storm

We'll save you from yourself from losing hope
Only the strong survive
We'll conquer all we fear and never walk away
Only the strong survive
...war!!

One Semester of Spanish - Love Song

2007-12-22T19:56:00.001-06:00

I wonder if this would actually get a beautiful Hispanic girl? Moy's, my Honduras friend, cousin is gorgeous, but doesn't know English...

My Randomness

2007-12-21T12:43:00.000-06:00

So yeah, possibly the most random piece of comic ever created. This is the way I've been feeling the past month. Some many things I've been contemplating deep inside, and so many unanswered questions & promises. I dreamed again last night about my promise. This would be number two, and from the Bible, three is confirmation...

Missione Possibile

2007-12-04T10:33:00.000-06:00

gerry testori in a garbage dump in cambodia
While sitting in missions class Sunday night, mesmerized by the message from Gerry Testori, God hit me a 100% reassurance of my call and where I'm heading. Gerry Testori is the founder of Missione Possibile, a phenominal missions organization based in Italy. I always felt in my heart that God was calling me to Asia, but I wasn't sure where. But when Gerry talked about their outreach in Cambodia, and being in need of many parttime/fulltime missionaries out there, I was instantly woken to my location.

Many, many things have changed these past couple of months. Quite a few of them heartache, but because I remained faithful God opened my eyes to many other amazing things. I'm no longer scared about the future, whether someone I love will be part of it or not, but I'm seeking God's face right now. Things that were once hidden to my eyes are now visible, spiritual and worldly. My feelings for someone are changing, uncontrollably, but none-the-less, changing. I hear God in almost everything I do, and I know I'm living the life He is meaning me to. I'm still FAR from the man I'm supposed to be, but I'm working on it...

...I Love You All

Currently listening to Hillsong United - Found

Mike Huckabee For PRESIDENT

2007-11-29T00:15:00.001-06:00

Chuck Norris...I Love You So

Mike Huckabee FOR PRESIDENT!!!

Mighty Warrior

2007-11-21T09:53:00.000-06:00

These past couple of weeks have been crazy. A promise was slowly getting the best of me, and I couldn't forgive someone for hurting me worse than anybody has before. Last night during Elevate class we watched some ISOM videos on Worship, which turned out to be the BEST VIDEOS in the ISOM series. I had the longing to get on my face and praise Him right then and there. I got a breakthrough along with this, which turned out that I'm not giving God enough worship/personal time with Him.

I got home, went in my bedroom, turned out the lights, turned on some Hillsong and Rick Pino, and fell to the floor praising His name. All of my struggles, anxieties, pains, and unforgiveness broke and left my heart. My spirit was broken for an hour. I laid it all down, and God destroyed all the barriars I had put up around me. One in particular, unforgivenness, put up a fight, but in the end God prevailed. I never felt so much peace and tranquility. I long to praise His name again, and I did a little this morning and while driving to work.

One song that hit me the hardest, and put me right in the presence of God was Rick Pino's song 'Mighty Warrior.' I suggest checking out his album 'Weapons of Warfare.' It's such a spirit filled and glorying album!

Jonathan and I have decided to start a twice weekly worship session together. I've also devoted my life to bringing Him all my praises daily for now on. I want that peace I felt every day, and for the rest of my life. For the first time I stopped thinking about Mary Beth, and starting thinking about God in all His glory!!!

Revelations & Honor

2007-11-12T08:25:00.000-06:00

So yeah, I know you guys are probably tired of hearing me talk about how much I miss Mary Beth, but God gave me a revelation last night. While reading the book 'God's Armor Bearer' by Terry Nance I came across this paragraph:

Personal feelings must be laid aside when you make a decision to serve God in whatever ministry He puts you. After all, He knew all the rules and regulations of that ministry before He put you there.

These words by Mr. Nance hit me hard. Here I am, drowning in my own sorrows and depression, missing the one woman I've ever truly loved, and God is working everything out right in front of me. Mary Beth gave up so much to follow God's commandment for this season in her life. I know her pretty well, and God spoke to me a lot. Her sorrow is still there, she just knows how to hold it in better than me. I know she still loves me, and I her. The rules of Elevate suggested that full-time interns shouldn't date, so they could focus on God 100%. God knew these rules before Elevate was ever created, and He's making sure she follows these.

I honor Mary Beth, second to God, for doing this. I will wait patiently, until the day God releases her from this commitment. I can't keep getting depressed and 'whooh is me' every time I see her looking at me. It's going to be a hard 6 months, but I've decided to stop letting the enemy take my joy and gifts from God. I need to focus everything I have on God, and when God is ready He will unite us again, if it's His will. Which I pray every day that these feelings and promises I feel from God are not false.

I want to finish up by praying for my family. I haven't spoke with my mom in a while, and the last time I did she had finally been filled with the Spirit of God and received the gift of tongues. I pray she's still walking in faith, and has found an accountability partner to mentor her. I pray for my pastor, Dino, and his family, to keep fighting the good fight, and keep receiving the Word to guide us through times of trial. I pray for the full-time Elevators. With all of their finances, food, and commitments. I pray for China, and all the lost, sick, and poor throughout the world, that they may come to know Jesus, and take this world by storm. I pray for my emotions, because i've been a wreck these past few months. I pray for my purity, that I keep my eyes on God, and nothing else. God help me become more faithful, that I may call on the name of my Lord whenever I'm walking through trials or on the mountain. Lastly, I pray for peace. I need peace, and your hand to guide me through these next 6 months. I love you God, with all my heart, mind, and spirit. I long for the day I get to be in your presence, sit at your feet, drink from your cup, and weep with joy!

Fighting The Good Fight

2007-11-09T10:01:00.001-06:00

Waking up thinking about the one thing I may never have again is brutal. I'm tired of feeling empty, so I'm going on a fast starting tomorrow. A week long of no food, and only water. I need to seek God, forget about the person I long for the most, and FIGHT MY FIGHT!

I trust in you for life to live, and air to breath. Purity fills my lungs. I no longer live in solitude, no longer bound. My heart beats with great devotion. This is the start to a new beginning. On my knees praying for mercy. Hands raised high, humble and broken. Wanting your grace, wanting your security. Memories of laying facedown, motionless, with such a hollow feeling inside. Soon I would end this life I was living. I am just a man with a heart and sinful hands. I am a fallen victim. Lord, show me the way. Let my words be your words, let my thoughts be your thoughts. Let my words be your words, Lord show me the way. I ask of you Father, to you, I give my praise. Show me the way, take me in your arms, never let me go. Righteous in your all. Lord, show me the way, as I give myself to you. Never let me go. Hold me with your everlasting love. Be my strength. Be my voice, my glory. SET ME FREE!!!

They drove their torches into the ground.
Watching as the ice began to melt away.
The enemy’s grasp was broken by the power of fire.
And a great multitude of souls were reclaimed from the ice.
But there were many others that did not respond.
To the presence of fire.
They remained frozen.
Enslaved in darkness, forever.

When the mountains crumble into the sea.
When the stars fall from the heavens and scorch the earth.
Then every knee will bow before the flame.
And every tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.
Forever!

The Warriors & Scions

2007-11-07T09:13:00.000-06:00

The past couple of weeks have been insane, full of mystification, yet impressively spiritual. My personal walk with Christ is improving, yet I still long for romance. God has let me know that He should be the source of all my love, but my longing is for physical intimacy. Not sex, I could care less about that right now, but to fulfill my love tank that runs off of physical touch. I yearn for Mary Beth, what can I say?…

God made me a promise, a promise of Brit Chadasha, which are the literal Hebrew words for New Covenant through Blood. Warriors will fight for their love, even till death, and I want to be a warrior of Christ. I don’t want to love another, but my flesh is telling me I need her. I don’t, I know, and I seek God’s face daily to convince my flesh I only need God. It’s a journey that’ll never end, but one that will get easier. I wonder most days if I’m meant to be a modern day Paul, and live my life fighting the good fight and nothing else.

God says He’ll fulfill the desires of any man’s heart, if it advances the kingdom of heaven and people come to identify Him through it. My desires are to be married, and have a little girl, and a son around the same time Jon McNabb has his so they can be paramount buds too. I’ve come to comprehend that my desires don’t always match up to God’s plans for me, but they are desires none-the-less. The only thing that seems to really bother me is if she fills the same. I feel a blazing fire in my soul for her, and God isn’t taking it away, nor is it fading. They say time heals all, but I say God healings all on HIS time.

Now that I got that out into the open it’s time for the Scion! That’s right; God blessed me with the most phenomenal vehicle in the world, a 2006 Scion tC. I love it so much, and I couldn’t ask for any other car to match up to it. It was God’s will for me to have it, and because of that I will treasure it. He showed me that even in the most cynical situations He shows up and performs astonishing acts of love. I give God all the credit, and every time someone asks me about it I make sure I elucidate it was by God’s clemency I received it.

On a concluding thought, I’d like to express gratitude to everybody for showing me love these past couple of weeks. It’s been a tough battle in the valley, and I know the war has only begun. I pray for all my family (the saved and the lost), for Mansour (my temporary Muslim friend), Steve Ware and his wife, Pastor Dino and Delynn, and my entire church family. I also pray for the homeless in our inner-city of Baton Rouge. I pray that Alice Cole and the entire crew at the 2 Baton Rouge Dream Centers gain favor with the homeless and lost. I pray the world comes to know Followers of Christ as much more than hypocrites, judgmental fools, or blasphemers. I also pray for God’s judgment on me. That He’ll show me my skeletons and the way to burn them. I love you all, and my heart will always belong to developing friends that are lost and dieing.

Send Me, I'll Go

2007-10-16T00:59:00.001-05:00

This video is a home video, which makes life phenomenal. I love the song, and as a guy called into the mission field full time it hits my soul.

The Journey To Life

2007-10-10T12:14:00.000-05:00

As everybody now knows, Mary Beth and I are no longer a couple. It's been that way for about 2 weeks now. When this first happened I was defeated. I couldn't sleep; I didn't want to go to work, church, or even Elevate class. If the place/thing reminded me of her then I couldn't be near it. The break up wasn't really bad, but it was engaged by her in a very hurtful way. I'll keep the fine points out, because I don't want to hurt anyone.

Anyways, I was astounded how quickly God worked me through this, how dumb was I. The first week was nightmarish. All I could do was ask God to either give me tranquility and assurance that she was the one and all things would work out after Elevate, or take my affection for her away. Well, after a week of seeking Him diligently, He did the latter. I sincerely don't know if she's the one or not, but I do know God changed me and my feelings for her. My heart doesn’t hurt nor does it long for her anymore, and I’m happier than when I was with her.

It's humorous, but after all this I noticed I had more free time, and I wasn't spending it the way I usually did. I'm concentrating more on God and studying His Word, praying a lot more, and starting to fully understand my call in the missions’ field. I'm not saying Mary Beth was hindering me, because I was devoting my time on thinking about her, talking to her, etc., and not on God. I can't tell you the last time I played XBOX, or sat around and watched a movie. I also realized that cable TV sucks, and TV evangelists are corporate crocks. The things, not sinful, I thought we once fun, are simply boring, and I just want to read my bible and continue my walk with God.

I met this wonderful girl, I actually knew her before but didn’t know much about her, that’s friends with Esther. She’s probably the most intellectual and gifted person I’ve met in a long time. She’s published books, writes poetry, owns her own photography company, and knows more about world history and the English language in her toe than I do in my entire body, absolutely loves God, and is only 24 years old. I’m actually working on her website, which is officially my first full Flash design, and it’s coming out as excellent and beautiful as her ; ).

I’m loving life. Simply put I know, but as unparalleled as they come…

Elevate: Rising Above The World

2007-08-20T10:07:00.001-05:00

Tomorrow, the start of the most significant life changing experience I've done in my life so far. It's the start of Elevate, my church's School of Ministry. I've devoted myself to start the call that God has placed on my life. I know He created me to witness to the masses, but I can't start my call without a sturdy foundation. God led me to Elevate, not because it's something to pass the time, but because I have to understand that I have to sacrifice everything to be able to let the Holy Spirit flow within me. I'm sacrificing my time, finances, personal relationships (right now), TV, video games, etc., so that I may rise above the works of this world, and have the power to FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT for Christ Jesus.

I'm changing spiritually, emotionally, and physically, and I love it. No more will the enemy keep me bound, no more will this world try to seduce me into telling me what's right and wrong. I'm not a follower, I'm a leader. A leader that is meant to do more with my life than eat, sleep, make money, and die. I will prevail, not by my will, but by God's. I'm no longer afraid on the future. I don't know whats coming tomorrow, but I do know that I'm a warrior, and warriors NEVER back down! No longer will the enemy control me. It's his time to see the power of Christ through me, and I will storm the gates of Hell and take back what he has stolen from me.

From now on, I'm not the Chris a lot of you knew, I'm now a conqueror, a warrior for Christ, and by God's will, I will become more wise, I will gain strength, and I will reach the masses and proclaim the Good Word of Christ Jesus!

Prescott vs. Habitat For Humanity

2007-07-28T13:46:00.000-05:00

Waking up this morning to a voice mail for my awesome roommate, Mark, was a wonder in itself. It went a little something like this;

"Chris Joy, wake your lazy butt up and come out to the church to do some 'REAL MENS' work."

The day before I was planning on going out to the Baton Rouge Dream Center to help out with restorations to Prescott's, a innercity school, gymnasium. But while at FNL last night, I found out that pretty much the entire church, HPC, was going out to help out. This pretty much included the entire youth party, and I didn't feel like dealing with the chaos.

So, I decided to head on out to help out with Habitat for Humanity. We had about a 10-15 HPC crew out there, and we laid down sod, turf and the part of the soil beneath it held together by the roots, for 3 homes. We laughed, JP whined (wink), Grey did his 'New Kids On The Block' thing, and Mark did flips when he found out he got a part in an upcoming Play.

Becoming The Archetype

2007-07-24T22:36:00.001-05:00

Such An Aspiring Christian Death Metal Band. Yeah, The Genre Doesn't Really Sound Too Christian, But It's Just A Genre.

Becoming The Archetype - Endure

This life is an open wound that will not heal.
I cry out to God with all of my strength.
Desperately, I reach for Him in the night.
This misery keeps my eyes from closing,
keeps my mouth from being able to speak.
Is this as far as the arm of God extends?
Has the fire burned itself out?
There is no profit in this way of thinking.
I must escape this frame of mind.
The source of all creation is inside of me.
And when I think of all He has done,
when I consider all that He is, I am complete.

A HotT Date

2007-07-18T22:19:00.000-05:00

What a glorious day. Work went by well without too many users breaking my printers. Ended up only taking a half hour lunch, so I got to leave at 4:30. I started a gym membership yesterday, and worked out for the first time in a couple of years. I'm targeting for negative 20lbs. by 2008. Mary Beth is required to work out 3 days a week while doing Elevate, and her target is going to make us the hottest couple at HPC.

Johnny Green taught tonight about relationship, mostly marriages, and just thinking about how Mary Beth and I will be married one day just makes me so excited about life, and how amazing God has, and will, bless both of us.

The lack of sleep Mary Beth had been getting finally caught up with her, and she had to miss church because she could barely get home without falling asleep. She was still able to meet me for our date at Ruffino's. I'm SO glad I made reservations...it was PACKED! Anyways, everything was PERFECT, and well worth the bit of dinero.

I'm so glad I decided to stop thinking of Elevate as an obstacle for me being able to see Mary Beth, and realize Elevate is going to be the best thing both have done with our lives. I'm willing to sacrifice 9 months of not dating Mary Beth, even though it will be hard, but I know our relationship is going to glorify God more than anything we could ever do when we get through this. I have no doubt in my mind that God created her for me, and vice-versa. I'm still praying that it's God's will for us to still be able to date, but 9 months is nothing compared to a lifetime I will be spending growing with her.

Revelation

2007-07-17T08:38:00.000-05:00

Waking up bitter can screw up any positive day God has planned for you. I didn't know what it was, but I couldn't shake the feeling that if I didn't open my ears and shut my mouth then I would be left in the dust. I was a few minutes late to work, because I turned off my cell promising myself it wouldn't be turned on until tomorrow. See, I sleep so deep it takes my cell phone alarm plus my normal alarm to wake me. If you read my last post it explains a few things, and I just knew that if Mary Beth couldn't contact me then I would 'win.' How I was so, so wrong. I was driving to work, usually takes 20-25 minutes, and I had the sudden urge to take out the Christian Metal, and listen to my Creative Zen, which has Worship music on it.

Every thought in my mind was still going a million miles/hour, until a song came on, and placed me in a different realm, spiritually. Hillsong's 'From The Inside Out' was that song. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was crying out for change, but not to God, until that moment. I broke down, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I couldn't keep my mind on anything but God. I was screaming out to God, shedding more tears then I've ever shed before, and more than likely looking like a mad man to the people driving past me. It's a miracle in itself that I made it to work without ramming someone off the road.

I got Revelation. This morning God promised me that Mary Beth and I are going to grow together. Grow closer to Him, therefore closer to each other. He showed me that if I continue to do things I was doing, I will lose Mary Beth, and more importantly, my faith. God has HUGE plans for Mary Beth and myself, some personally, but most of them are meant for us to conquer together. I refuse to let the enemy control my thoughts, and the way I was being selfish. I refuse to let Mary Beth slip from me because of pride. I refuse to stray from the flock, because the grass 'looks greener on the other side.'

I want, and am willing to let, Christ consume me from the inside-out. Even though I will stumble and fall, Jesus, will always forgive me, because I will always come boldly to His throne. Humanity is different. If I were to continue to stumble and hurt Mary Beth, I bet she would get tired of it. I refuse to let the enemy take my future bride from me. Satan is trying his hardest, because he knows that if we continue to walk the path of salvation together, then we'll be an unstoppable force in God's army.

I love you Mary Beth Guedry, and I'll stop at nothing to show my love for Christ Jesus and you. I'm not afraid anymore of the future, and the past has no control over me. I'll call on the name of Jesus until my time is done here on earth, and I'm done fighting the good fight.

Passive Aggressive

2007-07-17T01:02:00.000-05:00

So, I spent Sunday after church with my beautiful girlfriend, Marybeth. I call her today to ask if she wanted to hang out today, but she said Joy already asked her to come over. I got pretty upset, considering that Marybeth is going into Elevate, ministry internship, and will be spending 9 fully awake months with Joy, and maybe one day a month with me. I got past the selfishness of the whole ordeal, that is, until tonight. God, control my lips, my thoughts, and my behavior. She called me passive aggressive because I was letting her know that I was hurt, but I don't think that applies. I just hurts me that thinking back 2 months ago, she couldn't go a day without seeing me. Now, she's satisfied with 10 hours a week. I miss Marybeth, and the times we shared. I kind of figured she'd want to spend as much time as possible together before a calling of Christ is taking 20 hours/day of her life for 9 months. If that's selfish, I'm guilty. I'm sorry for wanting to spend time with her...

Our Founding Fathers, America Today

2007-06-27T11:55:00.001-05:00

First Amendment

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Our founding fathers never intended for the church to be separated from our government the way it is today. The original phrase from the constitution "Congress shall make no law respecting as establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof" only means that congress cannot establish a national religious denomination, such as Catholicism, Christianity, or any other denomination.

Yet, anytime religion is even just mentioned within the government today, people cry, "Separation of church and state!" About 67% of Americans now believe that this statement appears in the first amendment of the Constitution. However, the words "Separation", "Church", and "State" do not appear at all in the first amendment! The first amendment says, "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof." The phrase "separation of church and state" actually comes from a letter Thomas Jefferson wrote to the Danbury Baptist Association in 1802.

It was never intended for our government to be separated from Christianity and its principles. The "wall" between church and state was designed as one directional; its purpose was to protect the church from the state. The government would not be able to corrupt the church, but the church was free to teach biblical principles to the people. The founding fathers of our country took ideas from the Bible and incorporated them into our government. If they had meant to separate church and state they never would have put Biblical principles in the foundation of our government. To say Biblical principles should not be allowed in government is to either be ignorant of the founding fathers' intent, or to be blatantly opinionated against Christianity. The aim of our founding fathers was not to completely separate the church and state, but to keep the state from controlling the church. The government's purpose was to protect the church, not to disestablish it. Our founders built this country and kept it running well for more than two centuries, so shouldn't we continue to follow their original plans?